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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The internet has transformed the way we live, work, and communicate. What are the positive and negative effects of this change?

The idea of using the World Wide Web has made a considerable change in humanity's life, including the way people communicate and work. It is widely accepted that if time-saving and fast access to new information facilities are pluses, unreliable sources and less face-to-face communication provided by social sites can be considered their essential minuses. One of the main advantages of wireless connection that people benefit from is that it includes a huge amount of news related to all aspects of life, ranging from scientific research, education, revealing beauty secrets, and how to make money sitting from one’s home.
For example
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, in the following five years
due to
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 the development of various software, apps and electronic libraries
such
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 as “Duolinguo”, “Keiki” apps and Wikipedia parents are not only teaching their children foreign languages but
also
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 learning their own, and simultaneously students are doing their researches without spending hours in the queue of the libraries.
Moreover
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, most people are running their businesses, staying at home starting online shopping.
On the other hand
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, because of the abundance of data, a person will feel confused and have trouble deciding which of them to follow. Recent research shows that the majority of the applications sent to lawyers were by those who were the victims of cosmetics advertisement bloggers. They advised their brand, high-quality products with the promise that these cosmetics rejuvenate consumers’ faces,
however
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, the effect was the opposite.
To conclude
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, the internet’s time efficiency and informational qualities bring considerable profit,
while
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 the biased information it provides works for a negative impact.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your introduction to clearly outline the positive and negative effects you will discuss. This will help set the stage for your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph presents a balanced view of both positive and negative effects. This will enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more cohesive devices to link your ideas smoothly. For example, using transitions like 'however,' 'in addition,' or 'conversely' can improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, briefly summarize the key points discussed in the essay rather than simply repeating your thesis statement. This will reinforce your argument.
task achievement
You provided a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points of your essay.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples, such as apps for language learning and online business opportunities, strengthens your argument significantly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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