IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some cities have vehicle-free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #vehicle-free #cars #trucks #motorcycles #city #center #transportation #buses #taxis #metros
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Nowadays, some towns have put in place some public
transport
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 and on
such
Linking Words
days
Use synonyms
, private cars, trucks and motorcycles are not allowed in
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can cause insufficient
transport
Use synonyms
, I believe that the positives overshadow the negatives
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it reduces traffic congestion. On the one hand, the proponents of those who support the earlier view say that banning private
transport
Use synonyms
 on some
days
Use synonyms
 will cause insufficient
transport
Use synonyms
 in cities. If the country has few buses, taxis and metros that enter
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the city,
this
Linking Words
 would mean that some people will not be able to move to town
as a result
Linking Words
 of busses not being enough.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 different individuals will be
stack
Wrong verb form
stacked
show examples
 and a few of the business places will be closed down.
For example
Linking Words
, research done by Mr James at
bugema
Change the capitalization
Bugema
show examples
 University showed that nations that announced vehicle-free
days
Use synonyms
 experienced
shutdown
Add an article
a shutdown
show examples
 of some businesses since some individuals can not bear using taxis. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, I still think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree with those who believe in car-free
days
Use synonyms
 in
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 because it leads to
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 traffic congestion. When so many people have cars that
enters
Change the verb form
enter
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cities, I think
this
Linking Words
 will
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 a lot of traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 during the rush hour of reporting at work and going back home.
Hence
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 leaves the cities congested and polluted.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Kampala
Add a comma
Kampala,
show examples
 the capital city of Uganda, jam is always a problem during the working
days
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 and
this
Linking Words
 has forced the government to think of banning self-cars in town.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 decision will simplify a lot of travel-related issues and increase awareness. In conclusion, even though taxi-free
days
Use synonyms
 are discouraged in some towns because of less public
transport
Use synonyms
, I still believe that the benefits outweigh the negatives
due to
Linking Words
 the congestion of many vehicles.
Submitted by jmeeme5 on

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task achievement
Ensure all main points introduced in the introduction are fully developed in the body paragraphs. This will strengthen your argument and provide a clearer structure.
task achievement
Work on balancing the development of your arguments. Each main idea should be well-supported with examples and evidence to enhance the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by using more linking words and transitions between statements to enhance coherence.
task achievement
You effectively addressed the task, presenting both advantages and disadvantages, while clearly stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, making the argument more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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