Internet addiction How serious is this problem among young people where you live, and what can be done about it?
Most young
people
spend about five hours on their phones daily, to put this
into perspective if a person lives 100 years and you spend five hours daily on your phone that’s close to twenty years spent on your mobile phone. Now let’s ask ourselves is this
beneficial to us or harmful?
Digital device use has become so normalized that we often overlook the problems it causes. One significant issue is making false connections with people
. Scientists have proven that chatting with your friend through a mobile device doesn’t make deeper connections, it creates a false hope for friendship. While
you may have made good friends online, when meeting them in person, you might feel socially awkward or disconnected, unlike your other interactions. This
is the root of a bigger problem- the problem of feeling socially alone and this
can lead to mental health problems and harmful addictions.
Another problem is comparing yourself to influencers. While
scrolling through social media you see a lot of pictures, videos, and blogs, most of them are about something positive whether it may be a fantastic trip, a sports achievement, or career success, this
isn’t a bad thing, but the bad part of this
is that our minds compare ourselves to other people
. When we start comparing we start to doubt our ability to achieve something great when we see a person breaking a record that he trained all of his life it demotivates us not motivates us. Our minds think of the wrong message saying “Oh I can never do something so incredible” rather than saying “Wow I want to do something so great one day”. All of this
thinking leads young people
to lack motivation, have low self-esteem, and have more time spent with diminished motivation on social media.
I want to invite all of us to think about our daily use of technology. Does the technology we use 5 hours a day truly benefit us, or are we sacrificing our mental health, and well-being?Submitted by oimigle on
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task achievement
Make sure all main ideas are thoroughly supported with specific examples or statistical data to enhance the reliability of your arguments.
task achievement
Present a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and provides a definitive perspective on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear transitions and logical connectors to ensure that your essay flows smoothly and is easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay introduces an interesting perspective with a bold statement about the amount of time spent on mobile phones, which captures the reader's attention.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies and discusses major issues related to internet addiction among young people, such as false connections and social comparisons.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph is constructed with a central idea, making it easier for the reader to follow the logical progression of your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.