Internet addiction How serious is this problem among young people where you live, and what can be done about it?

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The
Internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is now a
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide

The word world wide seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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used network, which many can’t imagine their life without. It is the main source of current information,
news
Correct word choice
and news

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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globally, which provides many opportunities to
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

- learning, work, relaxation etc. But what other influence does it have on us? Let’s say it can be addicting for some. Young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are more likely to try new things and it can be inquiring, but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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some downsides.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these days more schools are choosing to teach pupils and students using the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, over old - learning by book way.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

easy access to the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

leads to an overuse of it and carves the path to an addiction. And
how
Correct word choice
as

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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many
knows
Change the verb form
know

The verb knows does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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, addiction, especially for young
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, can take up much time, if not years. All around us are probably 9 in 10 kids obsessed with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

network without even thinking of it. Overuse of it is usually defended by the teenager's known phrase “
im
Correct your spelling
I'm

If you don’t want im to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

studying with it” or something similar. But what can be done about it? Well,
firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there should be some kind of a system teaching young age
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

safe usage of the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Because it’s common to not let your mobile phone out of your hands all day, to sleep with and do many activities
with
Change preposition
without

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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unnecessary carrying it around.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

system should begin in the kindergartens and offer programs for pupils like how they can
self actualize
Add a hyphen
self-actualize

It seems that self actualize is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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without needing to use the
internet
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for fun and learn in other ways. Another way could be that parents should be encouraged to put some more effort into their kid’s life
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and be more attentive. But mainly, we should all watch ourselves and preserve a more
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

internet free
Add a hyphen
internet-free

It seems that internet free is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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lifestyle.
Ofcourse
Correct your spelling
Of course

If you don’t want Ofcourse to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

type of addiction may be seen as just a little obsession and shouldn’t be thought of, but
to be said
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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in truth, it is a weakness many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from a young age
suffer
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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now
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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and it is because of
an
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun access in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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easy access to it and
normalize
Wrong verb form
normalised

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb normalize. Consider changing it.

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overuse. Not only parents but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

communities should put more effort
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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preventing it.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Consider tightening the logical flow of your arguments to improve the logical structure. This will help guide the reader through your points more effectively.
Task Response
Provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This will help support the points you make and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Task Response
Clarify some of your ideas for a more comprehensive understanding. For instance, exploring more deeply why internet addiction is particularly serious among young people in your area and what this signifies could enrich your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your main viewpoint and final thoughts on the matter.
Task Response
You've correctly identified a significant issue of internet addiction among young people and suggested practical solutions, evidencing purposeful task engagement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Internet addiction
  • excessive use
  • mental health
  • academic performance
  • digital devices
  • online presence
  • sleep disturbances
  • social isolation
  • productivity
  • digital literacy
  • healthy online habits
  • time management
  • boundaries
  • outdoor activities
  • face-to-face interactions
  • counseling
  • support groups
  • coping strategies
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