IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
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Common
people
 can not help to develop the
environment
, but big companies and government can impact
this
. I disagree with
this
 opinion because individuals can modify their habitats and large companies' ideas can breakdown, down
instead
 of achievability.
To begin
 with, it should be noted that every resident of the country have own way of saving the
environment
,
For example
, after some analysis statistic shows us
viable
Correct word choice
the possible
show examples
 harm to nature that
people
 do and how many per cent of them try to fix it. Just a little habit like throwing out trash can influence the percentage. India is one of the dustiest countries in the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because Indian
people
 do have not any knowledge about the pressure on nature. They even do not prevent that.
Nevertheless
, a huge amount of
people
, whose goal is to save the
environment
 can have a harmful impact on the
environment
.
For instance
, there are many organisations in Kazakhstan, that plant
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trees, but forget to take care of them to grow them. At that time,
people
 who have plants in their house
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 to water them and do enhancing by themself. In conclusion,
although
 I concur that one
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 can get more influence and profit, than special organisations.
Therefore
, helping alone in quiet is better, than working in companies, where the goal is getting money.
Submitted by pandatvin3 on

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coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph clearly supports your argument and has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more depth and provide clearer examples to enhance the relevance.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas to make them more comprehensive and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to clearly express your stance and summarize your argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.
task achievement
Effort is made to provide examples to support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
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