The most important aim of science should be to improve people live. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Science
’s role in the community has been always a topic of debate. It has been suggested that the most crucial goal of science
is to improve the quality of life
. I completely agree with this
suggestion, but some considerations should be taken into account.
It is my view that science
plays a vital role in the healthcare system. The lives
of many people
depend on the advancement of technology in the healthcare system. For instance
, during the Covid-19
pandemic, advancements in Correct your spelling
COVID-19
science
made it possible to save a lot of lives
with effective vaccines and proper treatments. Additionally
, promoting the application of science
in the automobile industry has led to electric cars. These cars are more environmentally friendly and do not pollute the air. Advancement of these cars results in a healthier life
and an increase in life
expectancy.
In contrast
, some people
claim that the crucial purpose of science
is to explore space
and other planets and help other species from extinction. They firmly insist that science
should investigate deep space
for new information and discover new life
in deep space
. also
find new ways to help other species live longer and prevent their extinction on the earth. however
, I do not find this
argument convincing as human life
is in priority. Helping people
to have a longer and healthier life
makes them able to be more on other animals and find more information on other planets too.
In conclusion, I completely agree with the idea that improving people
's lives
overrides other purposes of science
.as the entity of humans depends on the progress of the healthcare system and technologies. However
, scientists should also
take into consideration the lives
of other species and the exploration of space
.Submitted by keyhan.mp on
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complete response
The points and arguments presented are overall clear. Some small inaccuracies and awkward phrasings are present, so revising these for smoother language would enhance clarity.
logical structure
Structuring your ideas more logically by ensuring smooth transitions can further improve coherence and cohesion of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is a consistent and clear logical flow to connect ideas more effectively. Despite being well-supported, the essay would benefit from better linkages between points.
relevant specific examples
You made use of relevant and specific examples to support your main points, particularly related to the healthcare system and the impact of science on the environment.
supported main points
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion while acknowledging other viewpoints, which is critical in achieving a balanced and comprehensive response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your main points are clearly outlined and supported well, showing an understanding of the topic and the ability to provide reasoned arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.