Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?
In the modern cutting-edge era, art and music are considered essential parts of our lives, especially when integrated into the school system as they facilitate social expression among students. In
this
essay, I will outline my perspectives on this
matter.
Art and music are constitutive elements of culture, consequently
, they help to convey emotions and thoughts. In an era dominated by technological inventions, the importance of self-expression is in high demand. For example
, many international students are allowed to showcase their identity using national songs and exhibitions to delve into their culture. As a result
, their surroundings become more interactive and connected to their traditions.
On the other hand
, arts education enhances critical thinking among learners by encouraging young minds to interpret, analyze, and further
evaluate their ideas. This
analytical mindset extends the way of considering given topics. For example
, assigning painting tasks during classes may compel students to step out of their comfort zones to accomplish the task.
In conclusion, by prioritizing arts education and fostering a culture of creativity and self-expression, we can cultivate a society that keeps in mind the importance of diversity.Submitted by libranefertiti93 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay, ensure every paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. This will improve the coherence of your arguments.
task achievement
To further improve your task achievement score, try to provide a wider range of specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Including more diverse examples can make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, offering insightful perspectives on the importance of art and music in modern society and education.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in maintaining the logical flow of ideas throughout.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite