IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#doubt #globalisation #world #people #business #nations #criticise #progress
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Some firmly state that the positive points of
globalisation
 definitely outweigh its drawbacks,
in addition
, they consider those who criticise it as a hindrance to progress. I agree with
this
 idea only to an extent because I believe that
globalisation
 has some disadvantages that cannot be avoided.
Furthermore
, everyone has the right to express his own opinions and others must respect them. In my opinion,
globalisation
 has surely improved many things by creating the possibility of keeping in touch even if
people
 are far away from each other.
On the other hand
, it has some disadvantages. Nowadays, it is possible not only to work or to maintain a bond from home but
also
 to order food and groceries.
This
 has completely changed our lifestyle and some
people
 are getting used to
isolate
Wrong verb form
isolating
show examples
 themselves and never
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 out.
However
,
this
 attitude is extremely unhealthy and research proved that it will soon cause these
people
 health diseases
due to
 lack of physical activity.
Furthermore
, psychologists are worried about the mental condition of these
people
. With regard to respecting
people
's ideas, I personally disagree with those who criticise
this
 development without seeing its advantages.
Nevertheless
, it is important to listen to everyone's ideas in order to create a well-rounded mind. In my view, it is possible to create your own opinion only if all the points of view are considered. In conclusion, I concur with the idea that
globalisation
 has benefited the world,
however
, its drawbacks have to be considered.
In addition
, I think that we ought to consider other opinions as well and not define those as obstacles to progress.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on specific disadvantages of globalization by providing more detailed examples.
task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization in more detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and logical structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and usually linked to the topic effectively.
task achievement
The response to the task is generally complete and addresses the prompt's components.
task achievement
Ideas are generally clear and coherent throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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