In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?
Kids are often given a message that can reach anything if they try hard enough in some culture. There are merits and demerits to it, which are explained in the following essay.
On the merit side, when children are told that they can achieve their goals if they try hard enough,
then
kids try more and more and they do not give up easily. It is widely known that if a thing has worth, it is achieved with hard work. Simply put, this
is a good lesson for children that is
taught. For example
, when I was a kid and I could not get a good score at school, I was told by my parents that I had achieved it if I tried enough hard. Thus
, I learned that I should try more and more to reach my aims.
On the demerit side, it is evident that all things and targets are not achievable. It is widely known that there are probabilities in the world, and also
that other things are important. Moreover
, these others are not solved by working hard. Therefore
, blaming people because they do not achieve their goals since they do not try enough hard is so unfair. For instance
, poor people have tried more than you think to be poor. However
, the world does not work by trying a lot, and other issues are important, such
as your family's wealth, which poor people usually do not have. Thus
, blaming the poor is not unfair since they are blamed for things that they cannot control.
In conclusion, there are advantages and disadvantages to telling children to try enough hard to achieve their goals, in some cultures.Submitted by mkhdermani on
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task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure that all points are expanded upon with sufficient detail. Providing more specific examples or data can help solidify arguments. Additionally, directly mention both advantages and disadvantages explicitly in the introduction to clearly outline the essay's direction.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to smoothly guide the reader through your arguments and maintain the essay's flow. Additionally, work on sentence structure variety to enhance overall readability.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear distinction between the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything if they try hard.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a direct lead-in to the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...