In order to be successful at a sport, some think you must be phusically strong while others believe mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that in order to become successful in
sports
,
someone
must be physically strong
while
other people think that mental
strength
is more important than physical
strength
.
While
mental
strength
allows
someone
to participate in
sports
, I personally believe that physical
strength
is more important because each sport requires physical
strength
. Mental
strength
inspires
someone
to participate in
sports
. If
someone
has mental
strength
, they become determined to participate in any type of
sports
. Each sport needs a certain amount of courage and bravery from the sportspersons, and mental
strength
inspires
someone
to practice that courage and bravery
while
playing.
For example
, playing football requires constant running throughout the game, and if
someone
does not have mental
strength
, he will not be able to participate in playing football.
However
, physical
strength
is more important than mental
strength
in playing
sports
because it
alllows
Correct your spelling
allows
someone
to take physical risks. Almost
each
Change the determiner
every
show examples
sport requires physical
strength
.
Sports
require a certain amount of physical risks and challenges, which
needs
Verb problem
require
show examples
someone
to become physically strong, fit and healthy. If
someone
is not physically strong and healthy, it will be difficult for them to take
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
physical challenges
while
playing
sports
.
As a result
, they will not be able to endure the difficulties of
sports
and ultimately will lose the game.
For example
, cricket, football, soccer and
kabadi
Correct your spelling
kabaddi
, all games need physical
strength
from the sportsperson.
Therefore
, I personally believe that it is difficult for the sportspersons to participate in
sports
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they do not have enough physical
strength
required for them. In conclusion, I personally believe that
while
mental
strength
is necessary to play
sports
because it inspires a person to participate in
sports
, physical
strength
is mandatory because it allows
someone
to take the mandatory physical challenges of
sports
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Improve the variety of examples to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional words and phrases more frequently to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Clearly structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives on the topic effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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