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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourist visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons wh incere relevant.

The graph illustrates how the proportion of
visitors
Use synonyms
changed
Verb problem
apply
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in one Caribbean
Island
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 changed from 2010 to 2017 by using millions in all
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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, which are divided into two
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 either staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
ships
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 or on the
island
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 tourists
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stayed on
cruise
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ships
Use synonyms
 at
at
Change preposition
apply
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the beginning but several years later
visitors
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually increased amount of
people
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stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 on the
island
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. From 2010 to 2016 both trends were opposite with those who stayed on
cruise
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ships
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 were greater compared who stayed on the
island
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.
Proportion
Add an article
The proportion
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 of
people
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 who stayed on the
island
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 from 2013 to 2017 progressively multiplied over time
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
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 (0.5-2
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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tourists respectively ).
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
visitors
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 who stayed on
cruise
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ships
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dramatically rose from 2011 close to 0.6
million
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 to 1.5
million
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 in 2013 but suddenly dropped a little in 2016
however
Linking Words
, gained the same amount of
people
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
total
Correct article usage
the total
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visitors
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 1
million
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 in 2010 and didn't
droped
Correct your spelling
drop
dropped
 a little
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
years
Correct article usage
the years
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 and obtained the highest amount of
people
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exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 3.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, cruise, ships, people, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 6 times.
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