IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

some people think that government should help homeless people to what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, a debate has arisen over whether the government should focus on supporting homeless people or implement other measures to address
homelessness
Use synonyms
. Some argue that providing financial aid to the homeless plays a crucial role in reducing crime rates and promoting social equality.
While
Linking Words
 I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view as I strongly believe that additional steps,
such
Linking Words
 as investing in
education
Use synonyms
 and
job
Use synonyms
 training, are equally important.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages of assisting the homeless and suggest other viable solutions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, supporting homeless people is essential for tackling serious social issues,
such
Linking Words
 as crime.
For instance
Linking Words
, statistics in the US indicate that a significant number of homeless individuals commit minor offences,
such
Linking Words
 as shoplifting, simply to survive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they are often victims of crimes, including physical assault and theft.
As a result
Linking Words
, providing support to the homeless is crucial in preventing these types of offences.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
homelessness
Use synonyms
 serves as a stark indicator of social inequality, reflecting disparities in access to housing, healthcare,
education
Use synonyms
, and economic opportunities, which can lead to discrimination.
Conversely
Linking Words
, relying solely on financial support for the homeless may not fully resolve the issue.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that implementing additional measures can significantly improve their circumstances.
For example
Linking Words
, offering individuals easy access to higher
education
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as university programs, enables them to obtain diplomas, which, in turn, create better
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can act as an effective strategy to prevent
homelessness
Use synonyms
 in the first place.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the government can establish
job
Use synonyms
 training courses that equip the homeless with valuable skills,
such
Linking Words
 as repair and maintenance work.
This
Linking Words
 approach,
further
Linking Words
, provides them with financial stability and resources to reintegrate into society. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 financial support for the homeless is undeniably vital in reducing crime and addressing social inequality, it should not be viewed as a standalone solution.
Thus
Linking Words
, combining financial aid with long-term strategies,
such
Linking Words
 as improving access to
education
Use synonyms
 and providing
job
Use synonyms
 training programs, can offer a sustainable pathway for individuals to escape
homelessness
Use synonyms
 and lead more stable lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. This will strengthen your arguments and provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, try to link your paragraphs more clearly with transition words or phrases. This can improve readability and help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the question, presenting a balanced view on the government's role in helping homeless people, along with suggesting alternative solutions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear starting point and a concise summary of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, focusing on the benefits of government support and alternative measures such as education and job training.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported throughout the essay, demonstrating a logical progression of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social safety net
  • Economic stability
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Financial security
  • Economic downturn
  • Poverty
  • Stimulate the economy
  • Job seeking
  • Dependency culture
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Government expenditure
  • Labor market
  • Fraud
  • Welfare abuse
  • Quality of life
  • Budget constraints
  • Economic strain
  • Public funds
  • Employment incentives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: