IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summaries information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household the second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summaries information by selecting and Reporting the main features and make comparisons were relevant.
#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The image provided above reveals
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different information. The first pie chart gives information about the pattern of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption for an average Australian household.
In addition
Linking Words
, the other graph depicts how much of various types of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
Use synonyms
 are produced by the Australian family.
To begin
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 with, Heating has the greatest share in
energy
Use synonyms
 use, 42 per cent.
However
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, it does not play an important role in
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
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 of harmful
gases
Use synonyms
; it is only under one-third of total
energy
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. Interestingly, the proportions of
water
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 heating is nearly the same both in using
energy
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 to heat it and in producing
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
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. Australian family utilizes slightly under
one-thirds
Correct your spelling
one-third
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 of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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energy
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 heating and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 the emission of approximately the same proportion of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
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.
Although
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, other applications
consumes
Change the verb form
consume
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 15
percent
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per cent
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 of the
energy
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,
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 share in sending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gases
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 out doubles.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the amount of
energy
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 used in
refrigeration
Correct article usage
the refrigeration
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 process is half of the
gas
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 that the process makes; it produces 14 per cent of damaging
gas
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. The proportions of lighting and cooling
is
Change the verb form
are
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 negligible in the
houshold's
Correct your spelling
household's
energy
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 basket. In total, The family spend 6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
energy
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 satisfying both needs. And in sum, their role in
greenhouse
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gas
Use synonyms
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 is over 10 per cent.
Overall
Linking Words
, more
energy
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 is utilized to keep the house and
water
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 warm, but other applications of
energy
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 and
water
Use synonyms
 heating are the activities with the most
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions.
Submitted by faraisam33 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gases, water, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average Australian household
  • energy consumption
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • heating
  • cooling
  • water heating
  • refrigeration
  • lighting
  • cooking
  • energy use
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • emission levels
  • comparison
  • energy sector
  • household energy usage
  • environmental impact
  • energy source
  • appliance energy use
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