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Writing Samples
Band 3

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings; do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #belongings #measure #person
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Success
Use synonyms
 is a complex multifaceted concept, because it varies from one person to another, for some,
success
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 can be found in financial stability
while
Linking Words
Change preposition
for other
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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, it may come from personal achievements, as
such
Linking Words
, there is no single universal form for
success
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, it depends on individuals' values and experiences.
While
Linking Words
 wealth and material belongings like money, investments estates, cars,
mansions
Correct word choice
and mansions
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 play a significant role in securing basic needs, they are not sufficient on their own.
Although
Linking Words
 they reduce stress and provide comfort,
success
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 often arises on non-material factors
such
Linking Words
 as a sense of purpose, high self-confidence, and fulfilling well-being, wealth can buy
convenient
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convenience
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 but can not buy contentment. People can achieve
success
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 in different ways depending on their priorities and circumstances. Professionals may derive
success
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 from high salaries, promotions, and good
reputation
Fix the agreement mistake
reputations
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while
Linking Words
 students seek
success
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 from intellectual growth, high grades, and academic achievements. In conclusion,
success
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 is
deeply
Add an article
a deeply
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 personal and subjective experience,
although
Linking Words
 wealth and material belongings help
meeting
Wrong verb form
meet
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 basic needs, they are just two factors
of
Change preposition
in
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 the pursuit of
success
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, achieving
success
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 requires
balance
Add an article
a balance
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 of material security, and professional
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
.
Submitted by sandraabdulkarim1 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly tie together your main points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify some of your sentences for better comprehension.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for a well-rounded discussion on the topic.
logical structure
Your ideas are clearly organized with a logical flow.
complete response
You've provided a thorough response, touching on various aspects of success beyond wealth.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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