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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003-2012

The Chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003-2012
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #newport #city #centre
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The given line graph illustrates the dynamics of > how many cases occurred
three
Change preposition
in three
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 different
crime
Use synonyms
 areas in Newport city centre over the
period
Use synonyms
 of nine years between 2003 and 2012. Units are measured in number of incidents.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the highest
crime
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
 > the area of
crime
Use synonyms
 with the highest rate at the
start
Use synonyms
 experienced a noticeable fluctuation,
whereas
Linking Words
 the other two types witnessed moderately >
witnessed
Verb problem
apply
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small changes.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
burglary
Add an article
the burglary
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 was the highest at the
start
Use synonyms
. It had been overtaken by car theft
rates
Use synonyms
 by the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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. In terms of
crime
Use synonyms
 type with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 level number of accidents at the
start
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, the
rates
Use synonyms
 of burglary stood at just below 3500 in 2003. The
rates
Use synonyms
 rose slightly to roughly 3750 in 2004.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, it experienced a dramatic drop by approximately 2650 in the following four years, From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, it increased moderately to almost 1500 in 2009 and remained stable until the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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. Regarding the other two areas with lower levels at the
start
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, the
rates
Use synonyms
 of car theft started at about 2800 in 2003. The
rates
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 remained steady
around
Change preposition
at around
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 2750 before dropping moderately to just above 2000 in 2006. From
this
Linking Words
 point onwards, it rose gradually XX to its original point
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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, XX.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
rates
Use synonyms
 of robbery fluctuated moderately. The
rates
Use synonyms
 stood at about 600 in 2003.
Then
Linking Words
, it saw fluctuation throughout the year, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached a peak of approximately 900 in 2005 and troughed at precisely 500 in 2008.
Submitted by supratsuprat67 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words crime, period, rates, start with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 4 times.
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