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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The health benefits of physical activities are well known. Despite this, many people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them exercise regularly?

#health #activities #people #exercise
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Playing
sports
 is a key factor in shaping
people
 as healthy individuals. It affects them both physically and psychologically.
Although
sports
 are beneficial, they have formed
such
 habits in some
people
. The reason for
this
 may be that
people
 work too much
according to
 the demands of
time
 and sometimes their motivation is low. First of all, it should be noted that some
people
 cannot devote
time
 to
sports
due to
 their busy
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
. Because they are trying to earn money.
Therefore
, they cannot devote
time
 to
sports
.
However
, very few of these
people
 try to create a simple
sports
 routine for themselves after work.
For example
, Swedish scientists have proven that 11.5% of businessmen in Europe have made exercise a part of their daily routine, despite their busy work schedules. The second and biggest problem for not exercising is lack of motivation. Some
people
 can't muster the energy for exercise. I think the reason for
this
 is that exercise requires a strong mind and the courage to start. Of course,
people
 have to overcome
such
 seemingly difficult tasks. So if they create daily routines for themselves and try to do these routines more and more each
time
, they can achieve high results. In conclusion, playing
sports
 is beneficial for
people
, and
people
 should make it a necessity for themselves.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to provide more specific examples or statistics to substantiate your points. Additionally, exploring more varied reasons why people might not engage in physical activities can enhance your response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each idea flows logically to the next. Some transitions between ideas could be smoother to help maintain the reader’s understanding.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-articulated and supported with evidence, such as the example about Swedish businessmen.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Exercise regime
  • Motivation
  • Fitness
  • Wellness programs
  • Public awareness
  • Facilities
  • Incentives
  • Health benefits
  • Sedentary entertainment
  • Accessibility
  • Community-based activities
  • Work-life balance
  • Barrier to exercise
  • Social influence
  • Public facilities
  • Engagement
  • Financial constraints
  • Technology in fitness
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