IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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Nowadays the advancement of technology allows everyone to
work
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 everywhere and some many
people
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 think that the employees ought to have more weekends than working days. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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 topic and my reason will be present in
this
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 essay. It is undeniable that many companies have changed policies to remote
work
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, which positive effect on workers. Some
people
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 think do not need to reduce a day for
work
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 because they believe that it will be affecting the company and there are various disadvantages. One of the most significant reasons to support
this
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 argument is that staff motivation and productivity to
work
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 decreases and
this
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 has a main negative effect on their
work
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. Another thing to consider is that some jobs,
such
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 as customer service, call
center
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centre
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, transportation, or jobs that need to be prepared for emergencies may not be suitable for shorter days since these jobs usually require
people
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 to
work
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 almost all the time.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that there are benefits for workers who have longer weekends
due to
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 stress in the workplace, long time hours at
work
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, and working hard. It is the main cause that makes employees have poor health and affects mental health.
Moreover
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, it makes
people
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 more relaxed and excellent physical health since have time to take care of yourself. There is research indicates that reducing hours at
work
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 will help staff have less stress, fatigue, and less negative emotions.
In addition
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, it helps reduce global warming because employees do not have to travel from home and use electricity at the company, which is another option that helps with the environment. In conclusion, there are many advantages for workers which have a positive effect on
work
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 and daily life.
Therefore
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, the company should have policies that help promote the
work
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 of staff.
Submitted by theejuta.b on

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coherence cohesion
Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
Add specific examples to strengthen the arguments presented.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of similar ideas, especially concerning the benefits of longer weekends.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and supports it with valid reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively outline the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are well-organized, leading to a logical flow of information.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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