IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Can everyone own a gun? To what extent you agree or disagree the statement.

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Having a
gun
Use synonyms
 in
home
Add an article
the home
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 is more dangerous for firearm owners and their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, especially if they have young
children
Use synonyms
 or teens. Because the majority of
gun
Use synonyms
 owners don’t secure their weapons,
children
Use synonyms
 are especially at
risk
Use synonyms
 of
gun
Use synonyms
 violence in their homes. Many
children
Use synonyms
 in America live in homes with unsecured
guns
Use synonyms
, and there is the
risk
Use synonyms
 of
gun
Use synonyms
 violence for their
children
Use synonyms
 and firearms falling into the wrong hands.
Great
Change the article
A great
The great
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 number of deaths occur when
children
Use synonyms
 are playing with a loaded
gun
Use synonyms
 in their parent’s absence.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some studies conclude that having a firearm in the home, even when it’s properly stored, increases the
risk
Use synonyms
 of becoming a victim of homicide and the
risk
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 of suicide. The prevalence of
guns
Use synonyms
 in the community means incidents like robbery and other crimes are more likely to carry the
risk
Use synonyms
 of
gun
Use synonyms
 violence. Some people thought owning a
gun
Use synonyms
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 protect themselves and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 them feel safe in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
gun
Use synonyms
 ownership does not increase safety, and the prevalence of
guns
Use synonyms
 directly correlates with
significantly
Correct article usage
a significantly
show examples
 greater
risk
Use synonyms
 of
gun
Use synonyms
-related homicides. If
guns
Use synonyms
 are not forbidden, civil life is full of uncertainty. There are a lot of news
reporting
Replace the word
reports
show examples
 that some firearm owners shoot people on
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
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 no
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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, and they just want
to
Verb problem
apply
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revenge on society.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction to outline your position on the topic and a conclusion to summarize your points.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that contributes to your overall argument.
task achievement
Use more concrete examples to support your claims and make them more relatable.
supported main points
The essay raises important points about the risks associated with gun ownership, particularly for families with children.
task achievement
The argument that gun prevalence can lead to increased crime rates is well-founded and relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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