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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people argue that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree with it and reckon that nowadays it is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education
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It is often said that
people
Use synonyms
 need to go to
university
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 to flourish
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 lives, in that they can learn from various experiences and expand their network for their future.
However
Linking Words
, I have a different point of view that it is unnecessary to have a diploma from a
university
Use synonyms
 to live a prosperous life. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will suggest several rationales to support my opinion in depth and detail. To start with, even without academic degrees, youngsters can experience plenty of real-life tasks and lessons by working, and they
also
Linking Words
 can make use of their acquaintances as a career. Take my friend who works in the construction area as an example, he decided not to go to college or
university
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 after graduating from high school, so he started to work at a construction company
as
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apply
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me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and my other friends going to
university
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. In the end, he became a supervisor in his company, when I and my friends are still new employees,
on the other hand
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.
Although
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 he does not have some sophisticated knowledge of building or architecture, his experiences and practical ideas make him thrive in his field.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, thanks to the development of the internet, there are a lot of ways to enlarge the community of careers via social media. In the past, meeting
people
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 from the
university
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 alumni party or the
university
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 society was almost the only way to broaden networks and to get information related to career or job opportunities,
whereas
Linking Words
 these days, there exists a variety of communities on social media,
such
Linking Words
 as LinkedIn or Indeed where can support job seekers or
people
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 who are interested in the area. When all is said and done, I am against the idea that
people
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 ought to learn from educational institutions in order to earn a flourished living.
This
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 is not only because of the experience of being able to compromise the knowledge of studying at
university
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 but
also
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 because of the innovation of the internet being helpful to expand the social network or to establish a career.
Submitted by Haun on

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supporting main points
Work on supporting each main point with more detailed examples or studies to strengthen your argument further.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph logically flows from the previous one to enhance coherence throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion
Try to add a clearer conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed.
complete response
You have addressed both sides of the argument thoroughly and given a valid personal opinion.
introduction conclusion
The essay starts with a clear introduction, providing a good overview of what will be discussed.
relevant specific examples
The use of real-life examples effectively increase the relevance of your response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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