IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

A significant number of
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays buy already prepared
food
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of cooking
home made
Use the right word
homemade
show examples
 meals. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are simply very tired after working all day
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 some are just
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
show examples
 to cook healthy
food
Use synonyms
 with their own hands. In my opinion, eating ready-made
food
Use synonyms
 represents a great alternative for busy
people
Use synonyms
, but overconsuming it,
this
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 can transform into a dangerous choice with big consequences for human
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the advantages are far from outweighing the disadvantages, because even if consumed in limited portions,
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
 can represent a risk
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, processed
food
Use synonyms
 is made of uncertain ingredients, prepared in unknown conditions. Some
people
Use synonyms
 just lack
motivation
Correct article usage
the motivation
show examples
 to get up and cook their own meal.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are
under
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
risk
to develop
Change preposition
of developing
show examples
 obesity and several diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, a person who orders
food
Use synonyms
 every day
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can increase the risk of gastritis, diabetes, obesity and loss of vital vitamins.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the ingredients used for preparation are most likely not natural
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 fresh.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, for the fast
food
Use synonyms
 industry, the quantity is more important than
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
. The dishes are made to look attractive and taste good.
Also
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, staying
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staying
Wrong verb form
it stays
show examples
 edible for several days.
This
Linking Words
 effect is obtained through different chemicals.
For instance
Linking Words
, the desserts do not use natural sugar
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they
put
Verb problem
use
show examples
 sweet chemicals produced in the laboratory. The meat for burgers and hot dogs can stay out for days, but thanks to the chemicals in it, it does not get spoiled. These factors have a big impact on our
health
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the ready-made
food
Use synonyms
 might save time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the price of our own well-being. The consequences may affect our
health
Use synonyms
 in the long term
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 we will regret buying these convenient dishes.

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task
Plan your essay. Start with your view and tell what you will talk about.
task
Give both sides. Say why people buy ready made food and say if the good things out to bad things.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence for each paragraph. Start with the main idea.
coherence
Give examples that are easy to see in life. This helps make your point strong.
grammar
Be careful with big words. Use small and clear words. Do not say always or never unless you have proof.
coherence
Your view on the issue is clear.
coherence
You use linking words like First, Next, and Overall.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Time-efficient
  • Ready-made meals
  • Nutritional value
  • Lifestyle demands
  • Work-life balance
  • Fast-paced lifestyle
  • Eco-conscious
  • Sustainable eating
  • Culinary diversity
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Health-conscious
  • Processed foods
  • Environmental footprint
  • Social interaction
What to do next:
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