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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

#parents #children #three #four #years #school #age
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In the present day and age, Certain sections of people put their kids to preschool, when they are three or four years old,
where as
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whereas
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,
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 other kinsmen wait for their offspring to become old enough for primary institution formerly they send them to school.
This
 essay will analyze both the merits and demerits of
this
 aforementioned notion as shall be elaborated presently.
To begin
 with, there are sundry reasons for sending infants to preschool at the age of four or five. One of the most significant is to mould their mindset to be optimistic children.
In other words
, owing to having the bulk of children around, who are not familiar with each other gives them the opportunities to learn and participate in fun activities that lead to learning the most important skills of life
such
 as being friendly, cooperative, sharing and caring;
thus
, they become more socialized, which help them to make new friends with more ease.
On the other hand
. Despite the above benefits, it has deleterious impacts on personal life.
That is
 to say, if parents keep children away from them at the starting age
then
 perhaps could lead to devastating their relationship bonds with each other;
Therefore
, since kids cannot share their issues with their parents, may undergo stress and anxiety, and even more mental health issues may occur
such
 as depression in future which is a commonly witnessed phenomenon in these contemporary eras among minor. In view arguments outlined above one can conclude that,
although
 preschool plays a crucial role in
kid's
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kids'
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 lives in terms of personality development, disturbance or spoiling their precious bonds with parents is dire to ignore.
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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to support the points more effectively. For instance, including studies or real-life experiences regarding preschool education impacts could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving coherence by ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next with clear transitional phrases, which would enhance readability and connection of ideas.
task achievement
Address counterarguments to provide a balanced view. This could be achieved by giving more insight into why some parents might choose to delay preschool education.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion of the topic well.
task achievement
Illustrates an understanding of both advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool, showing a balanced consideration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Demonstrates a good vocabulary range and variety of sentence structures, which maintains the reader’s interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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