IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. Two what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives #two
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In
these day
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this day
these days
show examples
, the most important aim of
science
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 has an intersting for all individual's lives. So I
compeletly
Correct your spelling
completely
a gree
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agree
show examples
 with
this
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 view that
science
Use synonyms
 is important in our life. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss
this
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 point and give an example. First of all,
science
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 has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 for all creatures. To illustrate,
people
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 will have knowledge of nature, so now students are studying
science
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subject
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subjects
show examples
 and teachers give them to make
experinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
 of nature and animals ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will help them to know
a new information
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new information
a piece of new information
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. During to
experineces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
, they will learn all things.
for example
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, plants , animals ,
humen
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human
 life and
teartment
Correct your spelling
treatment
.
In other words
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, they need
to
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apply
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medicine
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 , but they have to
knwoledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
 the way of making
medicine
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 and how to use it.
Secondly
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,
science
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 will help
people
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 to save
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
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 risks,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 they will do
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
experiences
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experience
show examples
 to get a good result and useful them.
therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, they will
equire
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acquire
 more information
by
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from
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as
teartment
Correct your spelling
treatment
 and
medicine
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 for
people
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 and animals ,
as well as
Linking Words
 plants. In
additional
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addition
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, they can know
food
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whether food
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 and drinks it healthy or not by
making
Correct your spelling
taking
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 in the laboratory, because
this
Linking Words
 place is for
science
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.
Moreover
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, they will have knowledge of
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 solution
of
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to
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 air
pullotion
Correct your spelling
pollution
, and how finished
of
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off
show examples
this
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 problem.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
has
Verb problem
is
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an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interesting for
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
that's
Unnecessary verb
that
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 will help them to improve their information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and the way of
mainting
Correct your spelling
maintaining
painting
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
life.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 will support them
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 their
medicine
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
Submitted by Loody on

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task achievement
Work on clarifying and expanding your main ideas and examples to improve depth of response.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your argument.
task achievement
You attempted to link science to practical improvements in everyday life, which strengthens your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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