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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other’s countries in 2011. You should write at least 150 words.

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other’s countries in 2011. You should write at least 150 words.
#people #five #european #nations #other’s #countries
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The table depicts how many Europeans
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
decided to leave their country and stay in another European country.
This
Linking Words
 survey was conducted in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
six countries in 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, Germans represented the largest total population who lived outside Germany,
while
Linking Words
Poland
Use synonyms
 became the most popular destination for immigrants. Looking in more detail, there were 3.298.000
people
Use synonyms
 from five nations living outside their native country, with the majority of the population coming from Germany (1.198.000) and trailed by the British with 100 fewer inhabitants. More than half of the British moved to
Poland
Use synonyms
, accounting for 550.000
people
Use synonyms
 and being the dominant group from other countries who
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
 to
Poland
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the number of Germans in Italia
also
Linking Words
 reached over 500.000
people
Use synonyms
, and the number of Germans in
Poland
Use synonyms
 was the second majority, with 426.000. Despite the Polish population in the five other states
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 the lowest figure for a total of 6000
people
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 region had the largest
newcomers
Correct quantifier usage
number of newcomers
show examples
,
totaling
Change the spelling
totalling
show examples
 1.168.000 in 2011.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only 202.170 newcomers from the other European nations stayed in Spain,
while
Linking Words
 even more Spanish decided to settle in the UK, with 391.000.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words poland, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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