IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is often said that the governments spend too much of money on the project to protect wildlife. While there are other problems thats more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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People have
a different views
Correct the article-noun agreement
different views
a different view
show examples
 about how the
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 expend
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
. Some people think that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 waste money too much on the project which
prioritizing
Wrong verb form
prioritises
show examples
 the flora and fauna.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I firmly agree there are other important problems
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 attention from
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is undeniable that wildlife plays a vital role in maintaining ecological balance and diversity
due to
Linking Words
 it will be impact
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 whole ecosystem.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 cannot
overlooked
Wrong verb form
overlook
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other significant problems,
such
Linking Words
 as economic equality and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
education
system
Use synonyms
. All countries across the
word
Correct your spelling
world
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 eager to make their countries to be better
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in economic fields. A developed
country
Use synonyms
 ofter
refered
Correct your spelling
referred
 to as an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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country
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 terms indicate
to
Verb problem
apply
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has
Correct article usage
a
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high-income
contry
Correct your spelling
country
,
has
Verb problem
a high
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 standard
living
Change preposition
of living
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, strong and diverse economy.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Education
Add an article
the Education
show examples
system
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
playing
Change the form of the verb
plays
show examples
 a crucial role in
Replace the word
developing
show examples
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should
Add a missing verb
be
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aware and give much attention to
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system
Use synonyms
. A big
country
Use synonyms
 not only
measure
Correct subject-verb agreement
measures
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how huge the population
, but
Add a missing verb
is, but
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 how great the great knowledge of the civilization
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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well
Add a missing verb
is well
show examples
 known as a great
country
Use synonyms
 due
have
Wrong verb form
to having
show examples
 so many top
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
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 there which
create
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
 many popular
scientist
Change to a plural noun
scientists
show examples
 like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Albert
einstain
Correct your spelling
einstein
Feinstein
, alexander graham bell, Stephen
hawking
Capitalize word
Hawking
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 and others. In conclusion,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 wildlife
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 an important role
to keep
Change preposition
in keeping
show examples
 the balance of the ecosystem.
However
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should give more attention to
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
system
Use synonyms
 and
aducation
Correct your spelling
education
,
additionally
Linking Words
 not waste too much
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 on the project just to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife but
also
Linking Words
 to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human needs.

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task achievement
Ensure your arguments are fully developed and supported with specific examples. For instance, in your argument about economic equality, provide more specific examples or data to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical flow and transitions between sentences and paragraphs for greater clarity. This can help in better connecting your ideas.
task achievement
You present a clear stance that governments should prioritize other important issues like economic equality and the education system alongside wildlife protection.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecological balance
  • pressing issues
  • funds allocation
  • local economies
  • government expenditure
  • human welfare
  • wildlife habitats
  • combat climate change
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • conserve
  • immediate action
  • boost tourism
  • investment
  • pressing problems
What to do next:
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