IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Why do people do that? What are the results of such actions?

#people #internet #search #results #actions
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These days,
people
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 prefer the
internet
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 to find solutions to their
health
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 issues.
While
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this
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 trend offers some benefits,
such
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 as increased awareness and accessibility, it
also
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 carries significant risks,
for example
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, misinformation and delayed care. I will explore the reasons why
people
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 rely on the
Internet
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 for medical
advice
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 and examine the potential outcomes of
such
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. One reason
people
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 search for medical solutions online is the convenience and accessibility of information. With just a few search engines, individuals can access detailed descriptions of symptoms, potential diagnoses, and treatment options.
This
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 is particularly attractive to those with busy lifestyles or limited financial resources because it saves time and money.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 may be hesitant to discuss personal
health
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 problems with a doctor and view the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 as a private overview. Others seek a second opinion online to validate the
advice
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 provided by doctors.
For instance
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, someone who
embarrassed
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is embarrassed
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 to discuss sensitive issues
such
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 as skin conditions
,
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apply
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 can explore anonymous online forums for
advice
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.
However
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, relying on the
internet
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 for medical
advice
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 can lead to negative consequences. One major issue is the spread of misinformation. Many online websites are unreliable, which can result in incorrect self-diagnoses or unnecessary anxiety.
Additionally
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,
people
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 may delay seeking professional help, believing they can solve their problems independently. In other cases, humans might attempt self-treatment based on inaccurate information, putting their
health
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 at risk. In conclusion,
while
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 the
Internet
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 offers valuable resources for understanding medical conditions, it should not replace professional healthcare.
People
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 must approach online information cautiously and prioritize consulting qualified medical experts to ensure their
health
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 and safety.
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task achievement
Ensure all main points are elaborated equally, especially the positive aspects of the topic discussed.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support claims, enhancing the credibility of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs to further strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional words and phrases to further improve the connections between ideas within paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both the reasons for using the internet for medical advice and the potential results of this behavior, which aligns well with the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, introducing and summarizing the main points clearly.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with reasons, maintaining a clear focus on the topic throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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