The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1991- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the consumption of three jam types in an Asian country from 1991- 2014. Summaries and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The line graph above depicts the consumption of three different
jam
Use synonyms
types in Asian countries between
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
1991 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that three of them
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced fluctuation until reached the bottom in 2014.
First,
Linking Words
a strawberry
jam
Use synonyms
was consumed as many as 150
tons
Use synonyms
, in 1991. After that, the
number
Use synonyms
was increased to 180
tons
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the consumption gradually decreased to 70
tons
Use synonyms
, in 2006.
Then
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
steadily dipped to 50
tons
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
that, a lemon
jam
Use synonyms
started around 90
tons
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the graph was fluctuated from 80
tons
Use synonyms
to 90
tons
Use synonyms
. Later, the graph sharply
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
to 40
tons
Use synonyms
, in 2014.
Lastly
Linking Words
, a cherry
jam
Use synonyms
is kind of different
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
other jams. The citizens began
consumed
Change the verb form
to consume
show examples
the
jam
Use synonyms
in 2006. The total
number
Use synonyms
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption was very low, which was only 10
tons
Use synonyms
, at that time. Surprisingly, in 2011, the consumer
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed about 90
tons
Use synonyms
. Afterwards, the
number
Use synonyms
continuously shrunk to 70
tons
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words jam, tons, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • upward trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • popular
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