Some believe that we should invent a new language for intrnational communication.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There are different opinions on the issue of making a new

language

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for international communication. Some

people

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including me think that inventing new

languages

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can develop communication between nations,

whereas

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others argue that traditional

languages

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will be damaged if we make an international

language

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Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, my personal proposal toward

this

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is that the benefits of using new

language

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outweigh its shortcomings. The main advantage of applying a shared

language

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which is regarded as an international

language

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is that

people

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can communicate better than past. Many

people

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in the

world

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are trying to connect with other individuals in the

world

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, as not only can they make new friends , they

also

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can learn new scientific subjects.

For instance

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, English

language

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is an international

language

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in which every person can make new relationships on many social media

such

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as Instagram and WhatsApp, since, they can share their problems and get new solutions to solve their issues.

In addition

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, societies can

use

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a vast size of new teaching courses for their schools to enhance their teaching methods by a shared

language

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between nations, so if the governments make a decision to

use

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an innovative way to communicate together, the majority of the

world

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's population will gain positive influences.

On the other hand

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, inventing formal

languages

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between societies can be

concern

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a concern

show examples

for many critics, since they believe that

this

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language

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will destroy their mother tongue. Many younger

people

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would like to

use

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modern words as they may be ashamed to speak their native

languages

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For example

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, In many countries like Japan, the government have regulated strict rules for using native words

instead

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of international

languages

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like English, each individual who applies ancient words , has to pay money as a punishment, the society can support their

language

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Furthermore

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, If

people

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use

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international

language

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, they will not connect with their ancestors. In conclusion, applying new

languages

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to communicate with

people

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together in many different parts of the

world

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however

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, can be harmful for keeping traditional

languages

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, but, it can have many positive impacts rather than its disadvantages.

takhtejamshid1400historikalTue Dec 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that all main points are directly related to the topic of inventing a new international language, as the essay sometimes deviates slightly towards existing languages like English.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on achieving a more consistent flow between paragraphs and ideas. Transition words can be used more effectively to link ideas smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Clarify the distinction between the proposed new language and existing international languages, like English, to avoid confusion and enhance the argument.

Task Achievement

The essay clearly identifies and addresses both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, fulfilling the task requirements well.

Task Achievement

Good use of an example to illustrate the practical effects of a shared language, such as improving communication on social media platforms.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly presenting the writer's stance and summarizing the key points effectively.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international communication
cultural richness
linguistic heritage
cognitive benefits
global collaboration
efficiency
educational resources
cultural homogenization
multilingualism
resistance to change

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echnologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.

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