With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animals species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction.Do they think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problems.

In today's society, it has become common for endangered species to be listed in "Red Books"

due to

Linking Words

rapid urbanisation and the resulting deforestation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, illegal hunting has become a growing trend that accelerates wildlife extinction. I strongly agree that

animals

Use synonyms

must be protected through more rigorous measures.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

animals

Use synonyms

are an integral part of the global ecosystem. Wildlife provides essential life support for humans, including critical medical breakthroughs.

For example

Linking Words

, the Atlantic horseshoe crab has saved countless lives through its unique blue blood, which contains a clotting agent used to test the purity of pharmaceutical drugs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, compounds from certain frogs are currently being researched to treat depression, seizures, and memory loss. Beyond clinical research,

animals

Use synonyms

like pets provide emotional support that human services often cannot replicate.

However

Linking Words

, illegal hunting remains one of the greatest threats to biodiversity. To confront

this

Linking Words

issue, governments must implement tighter restrictions and stricter laws.

For instance

Linking Words

, authorities should impose heavy fines and permanently confiscate the weapons and traps of poachers.

Such

Linking Words

deterrents could significantly prevent

further

Linking Words

illegal hunting and the environmental degradation that stems from it. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

human activities and poaching have caused unimaginable harm to wildlife, the damage is not yet irreversible. By implementing stricter government regulations and prioritising the conservation of

animals

Use synonyms

which are essential for both medical innovation and emotional well-being, we can restore the natural balance. Protecting these creatures is not merely an ethical choice but a necessary step for the survival of our global ecosystem.

munkhjingantulga2

Dec 21, 2025

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improvement

Add more steps on how to guard wild life, not just make rules. Talk on how we can plan and pay for it.

improvement

Give a short plan that leaders can use. Put steps to show how to act.

tip

Check little errors in phrase use and keep the language simple and clear.

strength

The writer takes a clear side and asks for action.

strength

Good use of real life examples from nature to show why animals matter.

strength

The link words help move ideas from one idea to the next.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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