IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

While recruiting a new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

#employee #employer #attention #qualities #qualifications
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Good employees are very important for any companies. They represent the company and share
Add an article
an
the
show examples
opinion about company outlook to the outside world. It is very important to recruit
people
Use synonyms
 with
p
Add an article
a
show examples
oint of view for frictionless and smooth running for any company. The employee
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to found some balance between personal
qualities
Use synonyms
, qualification, and
experience
Use synonyms
. Recruiter
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to found some balance between personal
qualities
Use synonyms
, qualification, and
experience
Use synonyms
. I
agrre
Correct your spelling
agree
 both of these components are important. At the outset, there are numerous reasons
whu
Correct your spelling
why
 both of these
componentsare
Correct your spelling
components are
components
 important but the most conspicuous one
lise
Correct your spelling
lies
 in the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 nobody
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
sher
Correct your spelling
her
job
Use synonyms
 with
p
Add an article
a
the
show examples
erson which is grumpy, rude, play unfair despite, that employee
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a hight
education
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and big
job
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
. When
people
Use synonyms
 have that kind of person in
Add an article
the
a
show examples
team,
a
Add an article
the
show examples
tmosphere in
Use synonyms
j
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ob is taff.
New
Add an article
A new
show examples
 study says
this
Linking Words
 is the
masters
Change to a genitive case
master's
masters'
show examples
 reason why
people
Use synonyms
 now often change
job
Use synonyms
.
Comunnication
Correct your spelling
Communication
skills
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 important when employee have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
contact with customers. Nobody
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
Add the particle
to
show examples
make shopping in shops, or enjoy
to
Verify preposition usage
apply
show examples
the dinner in
r
Add an article
a
the
show examples
estaurant, where
h
Add the particle
to
show examples
ave a
job
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 with lacking social
skills
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many occupations that do require social
skills
Use synonyms
,
experience
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, for
p
Add an article
the
a
show examples
ilot, it is necessary to have
experience
Use synonyms
,
education
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 have personal
qualities
Use synonyms
. Personal
qualities
Use synonyms
 are important when they have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
contact with passengers and other team members, but in case of some emergency situation, personal
qualities
Use synonyms
isn't
Change the verb form
aren't
show examples
enought
Correct your spelling
enough
. That time, most important is
education
Use synonyms
 about how the
airplaine
Correct your spelling
aeroplane
 works, what
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the emergency procedure and extensive pilot
experience
Use synonyms
. In summary, both components are important on different
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
types of jobs. For specialists' jobs
Add a comma
,
show examples
experience
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 play a
first
Linking Words
 plan role,
however
Linking Words
, for occupations related to personal contact, social
skills
Use synonyms
 is a crucial element.
Submitted by ewka85 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: