Some argue that companies should provide sports and social facilities for local communities. To what extent do you agree?
It is thought by some that corporations should support local
communities
by providing Use synonyms
sports
and social Use synonyms
facilities
. In my opinion, I completely agree that Use synonyms
this
approach will be useful for both Linking Words
companies
and Use synonyms
communities
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, providing Linking Words
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
will increase physical activity Use synonyms
as well as
prevent health issues Linking Words
such
as obesity and other diseases. Linking Words
In other words
, creating Linking Words
sports
events or gyms will encourage workers and local Use synonyms
communities
to exercise in groups. Use synonyms
For example
, there is a company in my country that organizes a Linking Words
sports
event every Friday in the city park with many activities, Use synonyms
such
as running and playing football. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
can educate people on the importance of Linking Words
sports
. Use synonyms
As a result
, it can inspire society to adopt an active lifestyle.
Another reason is that by providing social Linking Words
facilities
, Use synonyms
companies
can improve engagement with others, especially among workers and families. Use synonyms
In other words
, Linking Words
this
initiative will help Linking Words
communities
by building relationships. Use synonyms
That is
to say, social Linking Words
facilities
, Use synonyms
such
as parks or shopping centres, can stimulate society to build strong relationships. Linking Words
For instance
, some Linking Words
companies
provide green spaces around their buildings, which allow for outings outside of working hours. Use synonyms
Therefore
, social Linking Words
facilities
are an excellent option for Use synonyms
companies
that want to build good relationships among their staff, which in turn improves performance during working hours.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, I believe that providing Linking Words
sports
and social Use synonyms
facilities
for local Use synonyms
communities
will benefit both the community and businesses in several ways. Use synonyms
Moreover
, these initiatives may help us improve our social skills and interactions with others.Linking Words
Submitted by s_syedy on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a greater variety of linking words to ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help create a more seamless flow in your argumentation.
Task Response
Although the essay fully addresses the task prompt, ensure that all points are balanced. Expanding slightly on how sporting and social facilities directly benefit companies could provide a more rounded response.
Task Response
Clarify your examples further by connecting them directly back to your main points and how they support your argument. This will reinforce the relevance of your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, encapsulating the main argument clearly and conclusively. This helps readers understand your stance from the start and reinforces your viewpoint at the end.
Task Response
You have used relevant and specific examples, such as the company-organized sports events in your country, which strengthens your argument by providing real-world context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are clearly expressed and logically structured, ensuring that your argument is easy to follow. This helps in maintaining the reader’s engagement throughout the essay.