IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the best way to improve health is to exercise daily to what extent do you agree?

#health #exercise
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Currently, there are a lot of opinions about daily
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
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. People
try
Add the particle
try to
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 be more healthy and active with sport.
Also
Linking Words
, both children and adults implement
sports
Use synonyms
 on a permanent basis and make their own special schedule of activities.
Someone
Correct your spelling
Some
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 an opportunity to spend all
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
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to do
Change the verb form
doing
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 it, but others don’t want to do it. Speaking of the advantages of frequent daily physical activity, can
be bе
Verb problem
apply
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emphasize the main ones.
For example
Linking Words
, if a person loses weight through high activity, he or she will come to his or her goal much faster than could be, because it helps the metabolism to
work
Use synonyms
. Well, that daily exercise will definitely develop your stamina. And a long walk with friends or hard
work
Use synonyms
 will not seem so unbearable. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
 idea has some disadvantages that are worth discussing. First of all, not every person can afford to do
sports
Use synonyms
 every day, as it
spends
Verb problem
takes
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 a lot of time. And time is the most valuable resource in a person's life, which should be spent not only on physical training.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is very energy-consuming, sport is exhausting and after
it
Add a comma
it,
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 you only want to rest and sleep. Which in turn is problematic for people who study and
work
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that classes have consumed all of the athlete's energy, he/she cannot study and
work
Use synonyms
 hard enough. In conclusion,
sports
Use synonyms
 should be present in everyone's life, because it helps to feel better. Sadly, one shouldn’t overdo it with
sports
Use synonyms
 because it can become very problematic and boring.
Submitted by khotkina.ma on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task adequately by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of daily exercise and providing a conclusion. However, the introduction could be more explicitly connected to the main question regarding improving health, and the conclusion could reinforce the stance taken.
coherence cohesion
While there is a logical structure, transitions between ideas and sections could be clearer to enhance readability. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to improve coherence.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples or studies related to exercise and health benefits to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion well.
task achievement
Good attempt to examine both sides of the argument, which shows depth in your analysis.
task achievement
The essay touches on important aspects of exercise such as weight loss and stamina improvement, reflecting a satisfactory coverage of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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