In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your opinion

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The abundance of

sports

programs that are being shown on television could impact the viewers, particularly young people.

This

can lead them to gradually lose interest in

sports

or encourage them more. In my opinion, I side with the latter statement because most teenagers view physical activities positively since they are fascinated by athletes, which drives them to follow their pathways in becoming their role models. Some young adults who often enjoy watching

sports

events tend to have less interest in engaging in

sports

because they perceive it as a tiring activity, resulting in a higher sedentary population.

Thus

, they prefer to be an audience,

while

do not take part in it.

For example

, some teenagers in the United States who routinely watch the NBA tournaments on television, never actually play

sports

throughout their lives because they just want to fulfil their excitement and follow the trends,

whereas

in reality, they do not actually participate in any physical training. On the other side, seeing

sports

programs can significantly increase their intentions to do physical activities because they admire their favoured athletes or players, which increases their desire to be like them.

Therefore

, they vigorously copy their journey by allowing themselves to become more sporty as their role models. To exemplify, most young people in Indonesia are extremely excited when they watch a football match on television and cheer on their favourite players, which influences them to become athletes.

Hence

, they are being encouraged to take a football lesson to improve their skills

as well as

impress other people. In conclusion, there is a possibility of losing interest in having more physical activities by watching

sports

due to

their perspectives.

Nevertheless

, the majority of adolescents still persistently do it because they have a strong desire to become an admirable person who inspires them.

Submitted by hanalyaa29 on Tue Dec 03 2024

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task response

Provide a more balanced view by including more arguments for the opposing side.

task response

Ensure all points are supported with evidence or examples to strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical progression between ideas to improve the fluidity of the essay.

coherence cohesion

A well-defined introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay.

task response

Examples used (NBA and Indonesian football) effectively illustrate the main points.

task response

The essay demonstrates a good ability to express ideas clearly and comprehensively.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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