IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
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Some adults and freshly graduated students choose to seek a job in big cities
instead
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 of going back to their hometowns.
However
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, there are some challenges when living in a
city
Use synonyms
such
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 as great expenditure on housing and the crowded traffic system. To solve
this
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 problem, the
government
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 are supposed to take effective measures.
People
Use synonyms
 who work in a
city
Use synonyms
 stand heavy stresses from several perspectives. Taking housing as an example,
nonnative
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non-native
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 adults always rent a
house
Use synonyms
 or a flat close to their workplace.
However
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, the
house
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 price in big cities like Hong Kong and Singapore is considerably high, which cannot be afforded by a normal worker.
This
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 scenario means
people
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 can only rent a single room and share the opening space like the kitchen and bathroom with others, which is not very convenient for living.
Besides
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, the traffic system in a big
city
Use synonyms
 is relatively worse than that in a village, encouraging some
people
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 to get up early to avoid the rush hour.
Therefore
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, staying and living in cities should confront a great deal of difficulties. To mitigate
this
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 problem, the
government
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 should design effective strategies for improving citizens ' lives. The primary measure is to build a low-price
house
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 like the Housing and Development Board (HDB) in Singapore. In
this
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 housing system,
people
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 who satisfy relevant requirements have access to a
house
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 from the
government
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, only requiring a much lower price. I consider that
this
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 strategy can significantly reduce family expenditure and
thus
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 release
people
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's stresses to a large degree.
Second,
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the
government
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 should promote the percentage of public transportation and restrict the production of housing cars. In
this
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 way,
people
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 in the urban can enjoy fast and cheap transportation
due to
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 the decrease in private cars.
Overall
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, I hold that the
people
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 working in the
city
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 would suffer from great stress
due to
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 high housing prices and crowded traffic. To solve
this
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, the
government
Use synonyms
 should take measures to improve
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction setting out the structure of the essay, including specific difficulties and measures to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to help create a logical flow between ideas instead of simple connectors.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that summarises the main points made in the essay and relates back to the question.
task achievement
Expand on the task by covering the full scope of the question, including both personal difficulties and broader societal challenges.
task achievement
Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to clarify the main idea and ensure it directly responds to the task.
task achievement
Use a variety of examples, data, or case studies to support your arguments and make them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
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