IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

#people #cities #search #life #city #difficulties #governments
Some adults and freshly graduated students choose to seek a job in big cities
instead
 of going back to their hometowns.
However
, there are some challenges when living in a
city
such
 as great expenditure on housing and the crowded traffic system. To solve
this
 problem, the
government
 are supposed to take effective measures.
People
 who work in a
city
 stand heavy stresses from several perspectives. Taking housing as an example,
nonnative
Correct your spelling
non-native
show examples
 adults always rent a
house
 or a flat close to their workplace.
However
, the
house
 price in big cities like Hong Kong and Singapore is considerably high, which cannot be afforded by a normal worker.
This
 scenario means
people
 can only rent a single room and share the opening space like the kitchen and bathroom with others, which is not very convenient for living.
Besides
, the traffic system in a big
city
 is relatively worse than that in a village, encouraging some
people
 to get up early to avoid the rush hour.
Therefore
, staying and living in cities should confront a great deal of difficulties. To mitigate
this
 problem, the
government
 should design effective strategies for improving citizens ' lives. The primary measure is to build a low-price
house
 like the Housing and Development Board (HDB) in Singapore. In
this
 housing system,
people
 who satisfy relevant requirements have access to a
house
 from the
government
, only requiring a much lower price. I consider that
this
 strategy can significantly reduce family expenditure and
thus
 release
people
's stresses to a large degree.
Second,
the
government
 should promote the percentage of public transportation and restrict the production of housing cars. In
this
 way,
people
 in the urban can enjoy fast and cheap transportation
due to
 the decrease in private cars.
Overall
, I hold that the
people
 working in the
city
 would suffer from great stress
due to
 high housing prices and crowded traffic. To solve
this
, the
government
 should take measures to improve
people
's lives.
Submitted by 609553855 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction setting out the structure of the essay, including specific difficulties and measures to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to help create a logical flow between ideas instead of simple connectors.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that summarises the main points made in the essay and relates back to the question.
task achievement
Expand on the task by covering the full scope of the question, including both personal difficulties and broader societal challenges.
task achievement
Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to clarify the main idea and ensure it directly responds to the task.
task achievement
Use a variety of examples, data, or case studies to support your arguments and make them more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
What to do next:
Look at other essays: