Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
These days,
advance
technology has made a better Replace the word
advanced
relationship
among the
Correct article usage
apply
people
becuse
it helps to create a more harmonious society Correct your spelling
because
by
instant interaction and Change preposition
through
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
maintain
a
Correct article usage
apply
long term
communication .Add a hyphen
long-term
However
,some folks think that many has
faced a worse Change the verb form
have
relation
Replace the word
relationship
due to
the
technological advancement.Correct article usage
apply
personally
,I would argue thatCapitalize word
Personally
,
it is now quite easy to maintain a bonding for Remove the comma
apply
technogical
advantages even though it has some Correct your spelling
technological
technical
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
such
as isolation and shallow emotions.
There are main two reasons why some would argue that it has serious drawbacks over
the Change preposition
to
relationship
.The major disadvantage is the
young Correct your spelling
that
people
are getting addicted to social platforms as this
addictive Correct determiner usage
these
bahaviours
are responsible Correct your spelling
behaviours
to feel
Change preposition
for feeling
them
isolated from Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
social Correct article usage
apply
gathering
.Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
This
leads to depression and lose
of Replace the word
loss
inerest
in their crucial work.Correct your spelling
interest
For instance
,many guys do not like to visit their neighbours or relatives on
their tough situations despite they have huge opportunities because they are Change preposition
in
unwiiling
to take Correct your spelling
unwilling
further
responsibilities.As a result
,many folks are now more self centered
and Add a hyphen
self-centered
also
isolated throug out
their life.On top of that,some Correct your spelling
throughout
people
show their shallow feelings for their friends in
Change preposition
on
the
social media which drives Correct article usage
apply
people
apart broadly.While
it seems fake,it has lack
positive emotions among Wrong verb form
lacks
people
.
However
,the strong argument for the positive side of relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
due to
technological benefits is that people
are now interacting instantly with their family and friends .To make it clear,t,hrough
social media Correct your spelling
through
such
as facebook
,Capitalize word
Facebook
instagram
teens are posting their photos and Change the capitalization
Instagram
share
their stories and life updates.Wrong verb form
sharing
Also
,aged people
can join live
chat with their Add an article
the live
a live
frieds
whom they may lost their young life.These activities bring Correct your spelling
friends
people
ever closer since they share their sorrows and excitements as they are getting a
early reply over their feelings.Change the article
an
Furthermore
,people
are now able to do more group work together than before for their personal and social development which enable
them to be Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
goof
Correct your spelling
good
firnds
Correct your spelling
friends
of
each other.Change preposition
with
For instance
,many young enterprenuers
are now doing collaborative business through multiple online social groups where they can learn new skills regarding financing,Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
marketting
and selling products as they have Correct your spelling
marketing
a
good bonding.Remove the article
apply
Morever
,many social activists folks from different parts of the world are working continuously against global warming to raise the concern among global leaders through online media that make a more and more closer Correct your spelling
Moreover
relationship
among them.Therefore
,it is undeniable that advancement
of technology has a great impact on bringing Correct article usage
the advancement
people
nearer.
In conclusion,the benefits of modern technology in creating bonding is
broad because it helps Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
expressesing
their emotions sooner and Correct your spelling
expressing
to
Change preposition
apply
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintain
maintaining
a long lasting relationships
.Correct the article-noun agreement
long lasting relationships
a long lasting relationship
Although
it has some downside
like feeling isolated and shallow response,in my opinion,if Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
people
can able to work it for them,then
it brings a
Correct article usage
apply
signigicant
positivity Correct your spelling
significant
on
their lives.Change preposition
to
Submitted by bipashaa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Clarify your key points in each paragraph to improve clarity.
task achievement
Use specific examples more frequently to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the question are fully addressed.
coherence cohesion
Use transitions and topic sentences effectively to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical order.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, showing good structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the broad impacts of modern technology effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.