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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sport on television. Some people believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sport themselves. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

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The abundance of
sports
 programs that are being broadcasted on television could impact the viewers, particularly young people.
This
 can lead them to gradually lose interest in
sports
 or encourage them more. In my opinion, I side with the latter statement because most teenagers view physical activities positively since they are fascinated by athletes, which drives them to follow their pathways in becoming their role models. Some young adults who often enjoy watching
sports
 events tend to have less interest in engaging in
sports
 because they perceive it as a tiring activity. They prefer to be an audience,
while
 do not take part in it.
For example
, some teenagers in the United States who enthusiastically watch the NBA tournaments on television, never actually play
sports
 throughout their lives because they just want to fulfil their excitement and follow the trends,
whereas
 in reality, they do not actually participate in any physical training. On the other side, seeing
sports
 programs can significantly increase their intentions to do physical activities because they admire their favoured athletes or players, which increases their motivation to be like them.
Therefore
, they vigorously follow their journey by allowing themselves to become more sporty as their role models. To exemplify, most young people in Indonesia are thrilled when they watch a football match on television and cheer on their favourite players, which influences them to become athletes. In fact, there is a noticeable rise in the number of adolescents taking football lessons. In conclusion, there is a possibility of losing interest in having more physical activities by watching
sports
due to
 their perspectives.
Nevertheless
, the majority of adolescents still persistently do it because they have a strong desire to become an admirable person who inspires them.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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structure
Try to present contrasting views more clearly in distinct paragraphs to enhance clarity.
examples
While examples are relevant, further development with more specific details could enhance the argument.
clarity
Consider refining sentence structure to avoid any ambiguity and improve clarity.
introduction
The essay begins with a clear introduction presenting the issue and the writer’s stance.
balance
The argument presents a balanced view by addressing both sides of the issue.
conclusion
Concludes effectively by reinforcing the stated opinions and summarizing key points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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