Write about the following topic: Recent advances in technology leads the fact that human workforce is gradually replaced with machinery. What are some problems caused by this trend, and how could they be dealt with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. You should write at least 250 words.

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Nowadays, advances in technology cause a reduction in
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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and gradually
replace
Wrong verb form
replaced
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with
machines
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are many problems that result from
this
Linking Words
approach have to solve
such
Linking Words
as the rise in unemployment and the loss of human touch.
Although
Linking Words
these problems there are effective ways to address these issues. The main problem of
this
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trend is that the dependency on
machines
Use synonyms
could increase the rate of unemployment,
in other words
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,
machines
Use synonyms
can replace certain
jobs
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especially those in manual labour or repetitive
jobs
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.
For example
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, Some supermarkets started using Self-Service checkout devices without dispensing with human intervention, Which led people to lose their
jobs
Use synonyms
. Another critical issue is that with advances in technology, soft skills
such
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as communication skills and creative thinking could decline and personal touch as well, Which impact society by decreasing the interactions among people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the effective solutions to address the automation issue is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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human-machine collaboration, the government should force companies to balance between using
machines
Use synonyms
and hiring people by committing taxes on automation,
this
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leads to reducing poverty and creating an effective job environment. Another solution is to provide technical programs for the individuals who lost their
jobs
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, by teaching them programming and machine fundamentals to increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
ability with adept with these
machines
Use synonyms
to promote the opportunities to get
jobs
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the technology in the work environment is vital to the development
in
Change preposition
of
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our modern lives but some related problems could affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and should be solved by applying polices and providing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
suitable training.
Submitted by Hanan on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. Examples should be relevant and clear, which will help in illustrating your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Some minor grammar and word choice adjustments will improve clarity and flow. Consider reviewing sentence structure for better coherence.
task achievement
You provided clear and logical solutions to the problems identified, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Technological unemployment
  • Skill acquisition
  • Retraining programs
  • Economic instability
  • STEM education
  • Soft skills
  • Social security
  • Innovation
  • Workforce transition
  • Personal touch
  • Job displacement
  • Human-machine collaboration
  • Reskilling
  • Economic impact
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