IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this question. Having police officers patrolling the streets is often considered an essential way to reduce crime. How effective do you think police street patrols are? What other ways of reducing crime can you propose? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #police #officers #streets #crime #street #patrols
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When talking about reducing criminal
activities
, there is an ongoing discussion on how effective the police street patrols are in reducing crime. I believe that there are three benefits of police patrols and some other practical ways to curb crime
activities
. First and foremost, by show of force, the presence of police officers in the neighbourhood will create fear for the offender thereby preventing
further
 unlawful
activities
.
This
 is
due to
, in general, a guarded place is safer than an unguarded one.
Next,
by having officers on site, patrolling, reaching a crime scene will be faster and easier
hence
 action can be taken immediately to prevent
further
 catastrophic consequences
such
 as robbery and murder.
Finally
, if the officers are present in the ground field, investigative work and information exchange by the informers may be conducted more accurately and efficiently. Turning to the possible solutions, another means of mitigating crimes is
first,
greater enforcement of drug trafficking
activities
.
This
 is because drug dealing
activities
 are one of the sources of other crimes
such
 as stealing and fights.
Secondly
, one of the main contributing factors to higher rates of social problems
such
 as poverty is social inequalities.
Hence
, to tackle poverty and prevent criminal
activities
, free education and financial support are measures with a lot of benefits. A
further
 step is creating greater awareness of the public through education via mainstream and social media.
Overall
 the solution to minimize crimes will require combined action by the government, non-government organisations and the public through stricter law enforcement, changes in policies and crime-free promotion programs
Submitted by nabilahabdmalek3452 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try to connect your paragraphs with stronger linking phrases or sentences. This will make the transitions between your points smoother, ensuring that the reader can follow your argument with ease.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific cities or countries where police patrolling has been particularly effective (or ineffective), or provide anecdotes from personal experiences if applicable.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction gives a clear outline of the essay’s main arguments, effectively setting the stage for the reader.
complete response
Your response remains focused on both parts of the question, discussing the effectiveness of police patrols and proposing alternative solutions.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have presented logical and well-thought-out ideas, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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