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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is positive or negative?

#people #reduction #air #travel #future #trend
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Technology is growing at the rate of leaps and bounds. As a group of people think in coming days the sky travelling will face a decline.
According to
 my perspective, it is a positive thing in terms of environment and senatorial fuel.
To begin
 with, it will positively change the environment and
also
 help in the reduction of various pollutions. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, if domestic
air
travel
 decreases it will surely decrease
the
Change the article
a
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 large amount of Carbon emission in the
air
 as domestic flights are old and emit more carbon monoxide which is responsible for ozone depletion
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
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, bullet trains are more fast and cheap.
moreover
, they are
also
 running on electricity which is becoming the first choice of
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of people nowadays.
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
due to
 the vanishing of natural fuels by
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
show examples
to run its powerful engines the echoey To episodes and business by ions promote virtual meetings to work seem Lesly and save expenses and time
for instance
, nowadays, Rather than Going to foreign institutes for special training or knowledge people love to do it at home on video calls which saves their money and
also
 lets them stay with their loved ones. In conclusion,
due to
 more alternative options for
travel
 and more practical use of technology, the
air
travel
 industry will surely face a decline in passengers which eventually decrease
air
travel
 in the coming time but will have a positive impact on numerous things.
Submitted by vrajat608 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear perspective on the topic, emphasizing the environmental and fuel-saving benefits of reduced air travel. However, you could further enhance clarity by ensuring that your ideas are expressed more clearly and cohesively.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are well-formed, try to develop the main body paragraphs with more logical connectors to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
You've effectively included an introduction and conclusion which bookend your ideas nicely, providing clear opening and closing thoughts on the topic.
task achievement
Using specific examples like bullet trains and video calls helps to illustrate your points and gives the reader concrete images to consider, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable alternatives
  • aviation sector
  • economic consequences
  • renewable fuels
  • climate change efforts
  • global connectivity
  • tourism industry
  • technological advancements
  • cultural exchanges
  • international trade
  • travel experience
  • airport congestion
  • job losses
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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