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Band 6.5

Some people say that all students should study history as a major subject, while others feels that other subjects are important for children in today's society. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #students #study #history #subjects #children #society
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Nowadays some communities argue that history should be the main subject for learners to gain weight knowledge about the past.
However
, the other side believes fundamental materials are more important for frequent development in future. I strongly suggest that two of them are vital. On the one hand, history is a science that studies the past based on historical sources. Studying the past allows students to understand how the world around us changed and what potential development we have for the future.
Hence
, studying history learn how past societies, systems, ideologies, governments, cultures and technologies were built, how they operated, and how they have changed.
For instance
, it helps present society to understand who we are and where we come from.
On the other hand
, learning fundamental subjects
such
 as mathematics, physics and biology
also
 have an influence on children's knowledge. If the relation is about the past, fundamental subjects are about the future.
For example
, it helps for child gain the awareness they need to succeed in more advanced classes.
Additionally
, by learning various materials, students become more adaptable and better prepared for the workplace where interdisciplinary knowledge is often valuable. To summarise, we can see that the two of them are really necessary in our life. The past story is not only about how humanity has appeared but
also
 about human nature development.
Such
 as, other subjects provide them with a lot of information which prepares them a good opportunities in their forthcoming life.
Submitted by aluagabitova on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced amount of detail for each side of the argument. This will give readers a clearer understanding of both perspectives.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas presented are fully explained and elaborated upon. This will enhance clarity and help convey your message more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Avoid minor grammar and phrasing inconsistencies to improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of stating a clear opinion and maintaining it throughout the response.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, including a clear introduction and conclusion, aids in understanding the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Linking phrases such as "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" are effectively used to indicate contrasting points and enhance flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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