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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are some possible solutions?

#people #jobs
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It causes problems which are related to a lack of work for each generation. The first generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to learn as much as they can,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 the second one is required to not fall behind, in order to not lose their jobs.
This
Linking Words
 race could be infinite,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 in turn generates progress.
Firstly
Linking Words
, worth mentioning, that unemployment makes
people
Use synonyms
 think faster and better, it forces
people
Use synonyms
 to come
along with
Linking Words
 those, who
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 already
succeded
Correct your spelling
succeeded
show examples
 in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
, and
either
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if they want to get some resources.
Along with
Linking Words
 a lack of money, unemployed individuals experience
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
 pressure, that keeps them from relaxing. One way for governments to overcome
this
Linking Words
 difficulty is to create special positions for the
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
 and senior
people
Use synonyms
, like to be trainers. In
such
Linking Words
 a way, they will not lose their jobs and will be able to pass their knowledge to the younger generations. Another solution is for organizations to introduce more internships or traineeships. Creating
such
Linking Words
 opportunities will assist
people
Use synonyms
 in having at least temporary jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, every year a well-known Ukrainian mobile company Life hires the younger for
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
one-year
show examples
 program with a future potential full-time employment, as they want to retain their current employees and provide future job opportunities for younger generations. In conclusion, having more young
people
Use synonyms
 applying for the same job creates high competition and unemployment. In order to overcome
this
Linking Words
, the government should introduce more positions, like trainers for elderly and current employees, and offer more internships for the younger generation.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas; try to present unique points in each paragraph.
task achievement
Develop each point further with more detailed explanations or examples to achieve clear, comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the problems and solutions clearly, showing a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow from introduction, through the main body, to the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Unfulfilling job
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Financial stability
  • Job security
  • Societal norms
  • Career choices
  • Pursuing passion
  • Practicality
  • Personal growth
  • Skill development
  • Self-esteem
  • Social status
  • Work-life balance
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