IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In future all cars buses and truks will be driverless. the only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#future #cars #buses #truks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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It has been predicted that in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future
vehicles
 like cars, buses and trucks will not require drivers and commuters will be the only
people
 sitting in these
vehicles
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it appears that there are advantages to
this
 technological development, the disadvantages definitely outweigh them. To embark on,
high end
Add a hyphen
high-end
show examples
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 will render the transport modalities to be driven automatically or by a robot.
This
 will prove a boon for
people
 who have not undergone any formal driving training as
this
 will enable them to travel independently
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their private
vehicles
.
This
 will help
such
 pupils save time
instead
 of waiting for a public vehicle.
For example
,
people
 who are physically challenged will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
highly
benefitted
Verb problem
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
automatic or
robot driven
Add a hyphen
robot-driven
show examples
 cars and other
vehicles
.
They
Correct pronoun usage
Their
show examples
 dependency on
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 will decrease. On the flip side, the disadvantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 high-end technology are frightening and hazardous. Technology should be used to supplement human powers but not as its substitute. Driverless buses or trucks will result in subsequent loss of employment for
people
 who
pursure
Correct your spelling
pursue
 driving as their profession.
Moreover
, technology is bound to fail at times
thus
 posing a threat to all lives on-board. For
illustraion
Correct your spelling
illustration
, a sudden, unforeseen failure in the robot driver will lead to serious accidents
thus
 posing a humungous threat to human life. In a nutshell, despite the few advantages of automatic
vehicles
, the disadvantages are detrimental to human growth and life.
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on

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task achievement
Provide more detailed supporting examples to strengthen the main points. This will help illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are fully developed and clearly connected with each other to enhance the logical flow of your writing.
general
Be careful with grammatical and spelling mistakes. Although minor, they can affect the overall clarity of your writing.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving the piece of writing a strong structure.
task achievement
Main ideas are generally relevant to the topic and cover both advantages and disadvantages.
language
Language use is generally appropriate, and there's an attempt to vary sentence structure and vocabulary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Human error
  • Traffic flow
  • Congestion
  • Optimized algorithms
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Urban areas
  • Job displacement
  • Reliability
  • Security
  • Robust testing
  • Safety standards
  • Mobility
  • Independence
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