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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Write an essay on the following topic. ​Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #​our #personalities #genes #character #traits #support
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It is often believed that each person’s characteristics are influenced by many genetic factors
as well as
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 numerous other factors. Some people are of the view that the character traits of people are solely dependent on our genes and these cannot be changed. I wholly disagree with the notion that genes predetermine people’s
personalities
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 as the lifestyle and the nature of upbringing play a pivotal role in shaping their behaviours.
To begin
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 with, society is the key factor in shaping future generations. Teenagers learn from their daily experiences or even from movies they watch, so it is necessary to educate them on behaviours.
For instance
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, we have seen many cases where children may look similar to their parents but their
personalities
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 differ,
also
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 in numerous cases there are students who crack tough exams even though they do not come from a good parenting background.
On the other hand
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, individuals experience many good and bad things throughout their lives. These have a huge impact on their mind and
hence
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 they shape their thoughts and way of living in terms of what they have experienced and learnt till that point.
Furthermore
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, the environment and people around whom individuals grow up greatly impact their
personalities
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 and character traits. As proof, children raised by strict parents find it a little hard to open up and have introverted
personalities
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 as compared to kids of broad-minded parents. In conclusion, even though genes play a minor role in determining the
personalities
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 of individuals, upbringing environment and surroundings can still modify an individual’s personality.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Style
Try to incorporate a variety of sentence structures to maintain engagement and enhance readability.
Content
Provide more specific examples or case studies to further illustrate your points.
Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument.
Organization
Your argument is well-organized and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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