IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antactic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antactic #visit
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There is no denying the fact that tourism options are growing rapidly, some destinations
such
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 as
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 desert or the
Antactic
Correct your spelling
Antarctic
 could be hard to go to and require a lot of rules.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of visiting
such
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places
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why people like to visit
places
Use synonyms
 that could be difficult.
Firstly
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, exploration is the main reason why people do. To explore different cities of the world and have plenty of knowledge to feed their curiosity.
Secondly
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, some people actually prefer the adventure of visiting
places
Use synonyms
 with hard conditions.
Thirdly
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,
such
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places
Use synonyms
 help with acquiring knowledge about cultural differences and the environmental and climate effects behind them. Adversely, the disadvantages of visiting
such
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places
Use synonyms
 are many which could be dangerous for travellers. Age limit is the most highlighted disadvantage, as the visitors should be old enough to take care of themselves, and acquire knowledge and information to be well prepared.
Also
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, tourists could run out of food or refreshments and be surprised by the lack of resources.
Finally
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, navigation is really hard
due to
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 the limited internet connection.
For instance
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, if you lose your group members and your phone is unable to connect, you may spend hours looking for them
while
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 they may be not so far. In conclusion, there are many advantages of visiting destinations with specific difficult conditions. But in order for them to enjoy the experience, avoiding the long list of disadvantages could be useful for the success of the trip.
Submitted by archmaha.14 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear thesis statement and topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices to link ideas together more effectively.
task achievement
Fully address the prompt by discussing both benefits and disadvantages equally and thoroughly.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support the main points, making the argument more convincing and informative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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