Blood sports (any spots involving Killing or shedding of blood as bull fighting, cockfighting or hunting)have become hot topic for debate in recent years.as society develops it is increasingly seen as an uncivilized activity and cruel to the helpless animals that are killed.blood sports should be banned. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE
As empathy and consciousness regarding
to
animals are becoming more and more important to the population, Remove the preposition
apply
sports related
to harming any living being are disappearing. From my point of view, hurting cannot be called a sport, nor an entertainment.
Is it true that activities like hunting have been, and actually are, for some people their way of living as they live in certain areas where food is not as accessible as in the most populated areasAdd a hyphen
sports-related
.
Even Change the punctuation
?
this
could be a strong argument, it cannot be an excuse not to take action against animal cruelty. Pursuing wildlife with the only purpose of having fun while
killing an animal is sadistic and uncivilized. When is hunting season many innocent lives are being taken, like baby mammals which are not permitted to kill. Also
, some of these animals sometimes are hurt and left agonizing until they die, which is a sad way to end their lives. This
could be considered a biodiversity threat.
Furthermore
, one of the main statements that is
used to defend these horrific acts called sports is that these are traditions. In some places like Spain, bullfighting is extremely normal, these acts are taking place almost every day. Some of them may not involve killing the animal but it does not mean that they do not suffer. Moreover
, children are also
taken to watch this
extreme violence, which could, eventually, leave them with mental issues.
In conclusion, taking part in blood sports is crucial for a healthy society. I strongly believe that banning these events could make a big difference in our relationship with nature.Submitted by lusitusi:)
on
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task achievement
Clarify the distinction between hunting for food and hunting for sport; this will strengthen the main argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay's structure is clear, including linking words in some transitions could enhance coherence.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or data to further support your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction presents a clear stance on the topic, engaging the reader effectively.
logical structure
Logically develops the argument against blood sports with a reasonable progression of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusively ties the argument about banning blood sports to a broader societal impact.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite