Mobile phones have brought many benefits ,but they have also negative effects. Do the advantages of having mobile phones outweigh the disadvantage?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In recent times,the issue of mobile phone necessities has created a controversy.It is commonly believed that it has created a lot of positive impacts on humans,

while

Linking Words

others think that it has some adverse effects.In my opinion,

due to

Linking Words

instant communication,online business and as a learning tool,its positive sides outweigh the drawbacks. why mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

is beneficial in creating

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

easy communication?One of the main reasons is that social platforms can connect people globally by texting or calling over it.

Moreover

Linking Words

,if it had not existed,

then

Linking Words

global relationships would not have been possible in a way as they are now.It is commonly seen that parents may have less anxiety or stress even though their children are abroad,as they can often contact them over

Correct article usage

the phones

show examples

phones

Fix the agreement mistake

phone

show examples

Linking Words

this

Capitalize word

This

show examples

is an illustration of why

this

Linking Words

device is essential to our everyday lives.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,online business has expanded gradually because of its substantial contribution.

The another

Remove the article

Another

show examples

benefit,it can be used as a way of teaching.In

term

Fix the agreement mistake

terms

show examples

online based

Add a hyphen

online-based

show examples

startup

Fix the agreement mistake

startups

show examples

,a large number of people are gradually

depend

Replace the word

dependent

show examples

on them,and they may have only cellular

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

to run their businesses.

Also

Linking Words

,knowledge acquisition in new skills is common among youngsters.

This

Linking Words

is because their digital gadgets have a wide range of

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

features,and it leads to exploring new ideas.To illustrate

this

Linking Words

point,

to learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

digital marketing has

alrady

Correct your spelling

already

created enormous fascination,which is a

by product

Add a hyphen

by-product

show examples

of today"s

smart phones

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

. In conclusion,despite the downside of mobile addiction,numerous

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

made it one of the crucial items.It is generally the users who should have some awareness of its negative impacts.

Submitted by bipashaa on Thu Dec 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to enhance the logical flow of your arguments. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and transitions smoothly between ideas.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples that are relevant to your main points. This will help in illustrating your arguments more clearly.

General

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively presenting your opinion on the topic.

Task Achievement

The essay presents clear arguments about the benefits of mobile phones, focusing on communication and business.

Task Achievement

You successfully addressed both positive and negative aspects of mobile phones, aligning with the task demand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this, and how can the problem be managed?
The rate of obese children is alarming, being a big problem in many parts of the world. My essay will point out a number of reasons for this issue and several solutions.
5.5
band
Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?
In this modern era, residents in some countries are rarely check-in at numerous museums and historical sites, however, it is quite welcome by foreign travelers. This essay is going to take a deep look into the roof of this phenonmenom and some solution for it.
7.5
band
Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, maintaining boundaries in the workplace has become a hot topic everywhere. As is experienced in job interviews, some managers ask job applicants about their private backgrounds like their hobbies and preferences, and also their marital status. While some individuals believe that this type of data could become handy, others think quite the opposite. I personally agree with the first opinion. In this essay, the debate will be investigated.
6
band
Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree oe disagree?
It is often said that rich countries have the responsibility of helping low-income countries during natural disasters. This essay agrees with this statement as they are capable and they have the duty of protecting humanity.
5
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter • describe the situation • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work • say what kind of accommodation you would prefer Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in regard of my current housing situation. Since the start of the semester I have been sharing a dorm unit with another junior student. Our rather contrasting schedules and lifestyles have made it quite difficult for us to coexisit. Please allow me to elaborate with a few daily scenarios. Our weekly routine consists of assiting in person classes in the main hall as well as various study sessions at the library and of course, at the dorms. In my case, I attend classes in the morning and come back to the dorm later in the afternoon to go over my notes of the day and complete the assigments for my next class. However, my roommate does not only the exact opposite but also happens to be involved in a lot of group activities that demand frequent meetings which she holds in our dorm at least once a week.

Mobile phones have brought many benefits ,but they have also negative effects. Do the advantages of having mobile phones outweigh the disadvantage?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this, and how can the problem be managed?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people?

Employees sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree oe disagree?