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Writing Samples
Band 4

As mass communication continues to grow, the world is becoming more globalized. Some people believe that this will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#mass #communication #world #people #loss #identity
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Cultural identity
usually
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is usually
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 strongly tethered to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
 that it comes from. Across internet connection, it could not be missed as the history of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is stored in social networks, messages, news
source
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sources
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, and others. It is likely to
widespread
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be widespread
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,
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apply
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 than to shrink.
Firstly
, even if cultural identity
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 missing
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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 in a network, or if it blends with others, by arriving in some
country
, you might notice that local
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
, architecture,
language
, and many other things always remain inside the
country
. The globalization of internet communications tends to promote traditions and cultural practices, revealing them for other countries and mass
audience
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audiences
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it can
also
 be argued that the increasing dominance of English as a global
language
 erodes local languages.
That is
 to say, as English becomes the dominant
language
 in business, education, and entertainment, younger generations may prioritize it over their native tongues. Take,
for example
, how many indigenous languages in Africa are at risk of extinction because younger generations prefer to use English in both social and professional settings. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account, we can say that globalization indeed threatens cultural diversity. The spread of a common global culture and
language
 may eventually result in the erosion of traditional cultural practices and languages.
Therefore
, it is essential to find a balance where societies can benefit from global integration
while
 preserving their unique cultural identities.
Submitted by fruitextract on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on consistently using paragraphs to logically structure your ideas. This will enhance the flow and coherence of your argument.
task achievement
Ensure each point is clearly elaborated with more specific examples or evidence, which will make your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed, reinforcing the overall argument about globalization's impact on cultural identity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, hence demonstrating a balanced approach to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mass communication
  • globalization
  • cultural identity
  • homogenization
  • hybrid identities
  • cultural practices
  • cultural traditions
  • cultural uniqueness
  • broad audience
  • blending of cultures
  • minority cultures
  • cultural preservation
  • visibility
  • cultural extinction
  • traditional cultural elements
  • dynamic cultural identity
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