IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many high street shops have gone out of business in recent years. Why do you think this has happened? Is it a possitive or negative development?

#street #shops #business #years #possitive #development
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It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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In modern times
there's
Wrong verb form
there are
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couple
Change the article
a couple
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 of high street vendors
ran
Correct pronoun usage
that ran
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 out of business.
This
 essay disagrees with the statement ,I believe that
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in online business made
shops
 like pharmacies and gift
shop's
Change noun form
shops
show examples
to shutdown
Wrong verb form
shut
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 on
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 street ,
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of customers in
shops
 ,and it definitely leaves
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 negative impact on society in terms of economy .on other hand Digitalisation
also
 played a major role as it is easily accessible by
people
. Instinctively
people
 habituated to online shopping ,as it made their lives easier
.by
Correct your spelling
by
 finding all their requirements in one go. which gradually
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to the shutdown of stores .As
people
 don'
t
 come out often ,even if they step out
also
 they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
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 keen to visit parks and supermarkets.
they
Capitalize word
They
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 don'
t
 pay that much attention to
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 stores.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 In
United
Correct article usage
the United
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Kingdom
Add a comma
Kingdom,
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 it is reported that nearly 18
shops
are
Wrong verb form
will shut
show examples
 shutdown daily by the middle of 2024
.as
Correct your spelling
as
 the vendors are facing losses and they feel like they can'
t
 afford
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taxes.as they don'
t
 have any sales eventually
this
 impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the economy of the country because
people
 remain jobless so authorities should take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
responsibility for them in the form of
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
show examples
.
On the other hand
 , Digitalisation made
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 more confident as they don'
t
 fear
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
losing their money.
people
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
this
 modern technology which affected the
old aged
Add a hyphen
old-aged
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 vendors as they don'
t
 have knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 online banking and they are facing losses which
ends
Change the verb form
end
show examples
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 closing down their businesses.
For example
 in INDIA aged
people
 don'
t
 know how to take online payments, so customers
barley
Correct your spelling
barely
show examples
 visit their
shops
 which resulting their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 a huge loss .shop owners have no option
to
Change preposition
but to
show examples
bare
Verb problem
bear
show examples
 the shop as it is hard for them to manage.
To conclude
 ,
this
 essay argues
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in online shopping and digital transactions
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in terms of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
.
Submitted by prasannapatibandla8 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, enhancing the depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You addressed the task prompt by discussing both why high street shops have closed and the impact of this change.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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