Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think that it’s a waste of time. Discuss both sides of question!

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few people argue that
art
is an important subject for
children
to learn at
school
. Meanwhile, others do not think so and they say it is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of
time
. Actually, by learning
art
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
can find their
passion
.
On the other hand
, sometimes the
children
forget to learn the primary
subjects
because they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
that
art
is more interesting. In the end, the conclusion will be made.
Firstly
, there are
children
who have
passion
Correct article usage
a passion
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
art
, so it becomes essential for the students to enhance their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
. They
are enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
their
time
to draw
Change the verb form
drawing
show examples
,
paint
Wrong verb form
painting
show examples
,
sing,
Verb problem
and singing
show examples
because they have
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this subject
Fix the agreement mistake
these subjects
show examples
.
As a result
, when they grow up, they
did
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
confuse
Wrong verb form
confused
show examples
anymore about what they like and do not.
For example
, my friend
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
really
like
Wrong verb form
liked
show examples
animation since we were in elementary
school
,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
she knew she
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
passion
Add an article
a passion
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
it, she chose to enter an
art
school
. On the other side, arts make the student forget to study core
subjects
like maths and sciences. In fact, they are too enjoy
spend
Change the form of the verb
spending
show examples
their
time
on arts because they think it is fun and easy.
Therefore
, it makes them
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not engage with other
subjects
that
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
important for
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
in a formal
school
.
For instance
, my cousin
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
most of her
time
to draw
Change the verb form
drawing
show examples
, even at home she
is prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
to do homework late than
must pending
Verb problem
wait for
show examples
her drawing.
To sum up
, some people think that
art
is an essential material
while
other people do not have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
opinion. At some point, it is true that
art
is important for kids to find their
passion
.
However
, if they
are until
Verb problem
still
show examples
forgetting
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
their main tasks or other
subjects
, I think it is not good.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick closely to it. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
To improve task response, try to discuss the question in more depth and meet all aspects of the question.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents both sides of the discussion, setting a good foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes some relevant and specific examples to illustrate points, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • problem-solving
  • perseverance
  • expression
  • cultural awareness
  • academic subjects
  • prioritized
  • career opportunities
  • quantifiable
  • resources
  • economic returns
  • technology
  • engineering
  • academic rigor
  • coursework
What to do next:
Look at other essays: