Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some people suggest that the main
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
problem of our time is the
lost
Replace the word
loss
show examples
of certain
species
of
plants
and
animals
. There are
also
some people who think that there are more important environmental
problems
. In my opinion, both of these views have good points and are arguable, but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
do agree that there are more important environmental
problems
than the
loss
of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
. On one hand, the
loss
of a particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
can certainly
cause
problems
for the
environment
.
For example
, the
loss
of trees in certain areas of a city can
cause
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
problems
such
as pollution, the
loss
of clean oxygen and lack of greenery. The
loss
of particular
species
of
animals
can
also
cause
environmental
problems
.
For instance
, if there were no frogs in the
environment
, there
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be an overpopulation of flies and these flies
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
cause
various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
problems
for the
environment
.
On the other hand
, there are more important
problems
in the
environment
than the
loss
of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
. Environmental
problems
such
as global warming and pollution can
cause
more severe
problems
for the
environment
. Global warming and pollution can
cause
the deaths of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
countless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals, much more than the
loss
of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
can
cause
. In conclusion,
while
both views have a good point, I still believe that there are more important environmental
problems
than the
loss
of particular
species
of
plants
and
animals
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
To further improve clarity and completeness, consider providing additional examples and elaboration on how the loss of species directly impacts ecosystems or human life.
technical advice
Make sure to avoid minor spelling errors and ensure words are used correctly, such as 'loss' instead of 'lost.' This enhances professionalism and precision in your writing.
coherence cohesion
Develop stronger connections between paragraphs by using more diverse linking words and phrases to increase coherence and guide the reader smoothly from one idea to another.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear stance and summarizing the argument effectively.
task achievement
You discuss both sides of the argument and present a balanced view, which shows an understanding of the complexity of environmental issues.
evidence support
Relevant examples, like the overpopulation of flies if frogs are lost, effectively illustrate your points, adding depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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