Write about the following topic: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays,
a
plenty of Remove the article
apply
children
spend more and more hours every day on their smartphones
which simultaneously it
could have some cons and pros, Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as improving their communication and network, otherwise
, it might hurt them to lose their sense and connection to their real word
and could hurt them in a physical way.
Improving technology could cause many changes to humankind life Correct your spelling
world
style
, so even Correct your spelling
lifestyle
children
life style
would Correct your spelling
lifestyles
get
Verb problem
be
effects
Correct your spelling
affected
due to
these changes. On one
hand, making new connections with Correct article usage
the one
other
and making new friends became easier for Fix the agreement mistake
others
children
in this
way, they can use some applications for this
particular reason, so it could assist them to feel the sense of being acceptable in society. Furthermore
, They can learn new things by searching through the internet and watch
Wrong verb form
watching
some
videos and instructions on Correct quantifier usage
apply
youtubes
which Correct your spelling
youtube
it
assist them Correct pronoun usage
apply
to reach
Change preposition
in reaching
to
their goals and Change preposition
apply
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
would help
them Wrong verb form
helps
to
boost their enthusiasm and passion.
Verb problem
apply
On the other hand
, to
much usage of Replace the word
too
smartphones
and electronic device
can isolate Fix the agreement mistake
devices
children
from outer
world and Add an article
the outer
this
reason can make them so nervous and prevent them to make
a new friend and Change preposition
from making
start
a conversation in Wrong verb form
starting
real
world. Add an article
the real
Due to
this
reason
they Add a comma
reason,
got
Verb problem
become
an
Correct article usage
apply
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
character
and prefer to Fix the agreement mistake
characters
use
more and more hours on their Verb problem
spend
smartphones
. Moreover
, Due to
inactivity, they became fat and obese. this
issue can influenced
badly in their Change the verb form
be influenced
influence
self-confident
and try to Replace the word
self-confidence
being
more isolated day by day. Verb problem
become
For instance
, some researches demonstrate that parents must forced
their Change the verb form
force
children
to go outside and hang out with their friends. with refer
to Replace the word
reference
this
point, some governments try to hold some classes with
Change preposition
on
subject
of Add an article
the subject
smartphones
bad influences for parents to Change noun form
smartphones'
smartphone's
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
from
Change preposition
of
this
issue and their influences.
To sum it up, after compare
Change the verb form
comparing
this
issue from two different aspects, it can be grasp
that, if the time of Wrong verb form
grasped
smarphones
usage Correct your spelling
smartphones
not
limited, it would Add a missing verb
is not
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
many
mental and physical Correct word choice
apply
damages
to Fix the agreement mistake
damage
children
, in spite of the fact that it also
could be useful for children
in many ways.Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on
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task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing reasons why children spend time on smartphones and evaluating the positives and negatives. However, the response could be more precise in responding to whether the development is ultimately positive or negative. A clearer stance could strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is present, with two main parts discussing the advantages and disadvantages. However, ideas could be more clearly organized within paragraphs, and transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
While main points are generally supported, using more specific and detailed examples or case studies could enhance the task response. Examples should be directly relevant to ideas discussed to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the issue effectively and the conclusion provides a summary. Ensure these sections are rich and add insight to the essay's structure for high coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of smartphone usage among children, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the topic by mentioning both the pros and cons of smartphone usage, indicating an understanding of the complexities involved.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.