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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries these days, the number of people continuing their education after school has decreased, and the range of courses available at universities and colleges has also increased. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, there is a significant decline in the number of students proceeding with their studies after school;
however
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, the number and variety of
courses
Use synonyms
 available at universities and colleges have dramatically increased.
Although
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this
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 trend has some disadvantages, the positive impact of an increase in the range of
courses
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 may provide more opportunities for students to specialize and pursue
fields
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 they are passionate about, and the decrease in
people
Use synonyms
 continuing education may lead to a higher emphasis on vocational training apprenticeship programs.
To begin
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 with, a greater emphasis on alternative education paths could cater to diverse learning styles and life circumstances, possibly reducing the student debt burden and stress related to traditional college education.
For example
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,
people
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 can invest their efforts in attending vocational training rather than higher studies, which can be beneficial for skill development and practical experience.
As a result
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,
people
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 will have more chances to recruit for well-known companies
such
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 as Amazon. The growing variety of
courses
Use synonyms
 can lead to better alignment with industry needs and emerging
fields
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, which can enhance job prospects and economic growth. By adding new
fields
Use synonyms
,
people
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 will have more opportunities to pursue branches they are fascinated by, allowing for a more engaged and motivated student body. Taking advanced AI as an example, many companies today require employees who have a certificate in artificial intelligence and AI to promote the company's productivity.
Therefore
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, having a course in these
fields
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 would not only increase job prospects but
also
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 raise the economic level. In conclusion, many countries today witness a substantial decrease in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to fulfil their studies after school,
along with
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 an increase in the range of
courses
Use synonyms
 available at colleges.
This
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 trend may provide more chances for individuals to engage in
fields
Use synonyms
 they dream about, which can enhance job prospects and productivity.
Additionally
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,
this
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 may encourage educational institutions to improve quality over quantity, focusing on developing more comprehensive and interdisciplinary programs.

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task achievement
You have addressed the question effectively, providing reasons for both the decrease in students continuing their education and the increase in course variety.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This helps in illustrating your points more clearly and provides concrete evidence to your arguments.
task achievement
Consider giving more balanced attention to both sides of the argument to deeply evaluate whether this is a positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized, but ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main ideas. You might enhance it by suggesting some implications or recommendations related to the trend discussed.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively structured your essay with clear introductory and conclusion sections, which help in framing your response well.
task achievement
The essay explores the advantage of a wider range of courses, such as better alignment with industry needs and economic growth potential, which adds depth to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Vocational training
  • Specialization
  • Interdisciplinary programs
  • Human capital
  • Economic growth
  • Job prospects
  • Practical experience
  • Student enrollment
  • Educational institutions
  • Alternative education paths
  • Skill development
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